At the end of a long unit cohesion weekend at the Primal Tower in the southeast of Quietreach under the team building guidance of ranger Falenas Norfaren, the other hunting boot drops with a foreboding question from Falenas: so … does anyone know much about owlbears?
Falenas can’t contribute much to answer his own question, but he does know that Quietreach researchers Witnesses of the Worm are keen to get a specimen of the cross-species par excellence, dead or alive. The alive ones can be found in the densely dangerous Southern Lluirwood south of the Toadsquar Mountains. The trick of finding things in the Lluirwood is to perish as close to the dangerous center as possible, the perfect task for talented yet expendable Alpha Company.
After a half day march along a decent road from the Hall of Doors gate on the western edge of the Lluirwood, Alpha is waved down by a pair of misfortunate “traders” and their overturned “wagon”. Ssatschia inquires after the overturned “horses”, nowhere in evidence. “Total-not-thugs” Myron and Roald assure Ssatschia that there “definitely” were some horses, and they ran off. Moth makes a recon of the wagon by unloading a “crate”. Tango, alerted by Nala, steps into the trees off the path to “look for horse tracks” and predictably finds bandits waiting in ambush. Tango shouts a “warning” to Myron and Roald. Ssatschia, studying their reaction to this news, gives the universal thumbs down and battle erupts with thuggish heavy crossbows snapping all around.
Henchthugs emerge from both sides of the path. Nala blocks the northern thugs allowing Tango to sneak in devastatingly behind them. Ssatschia takes a sun blade to the southern thugs. Moth flurries punches into Myron’s deceptive face. Nala turns on Roald. Scram, carefully not burning down the forest, scorches rays with lethal precision. A heavy crossbow bolt, sender unknown, sprouts from Scram’s chest. Nala crosses the road to paste Snory’s assailant after Snory tells on him. Moth completes a critical fatal speedbag finishing move on Myron. The sudden surrender of a concealed thug, firing through a knothole in the bottom of the overturned wagon, makes Ssatschia and Moth jump a little.
Tango relieves the thug of his weapons and his 52 silvers while Nala flanks intimidatingly. Snory leverages the zone of intimidation to learn that the thug is the last survivor of Sam Tannerson’s Traveling Mercenary Crew. Sam actual and the next half dozen in his chain of command perished when the Crew was beset along the southern path by a large and fierce forest predator what goes, Hoorawr! Hoorawr! Scram, gathering personal effects of the other thugs, stops to emulate, Hoorawr! Hoorawr! Their decapitated organizational chart left green Myron in charge of the ambush featuring a conveniently abandoned wagon. The thug survivor is unable or unwilling to draw a map back to dead Sam, has no vocation other than thuggery, and would just as soon not be owlbear bait. He is released on his own recognizance.
While Moth bandages Myron’s legacy of scimitar wounds, rogue Tango searches the wagon for secret compartments and finds just that. There definitely was not a stash of coin [54 gp] before Tango got there, but also there is a magical looking ring [of animal influence: 3 charges of animal friendship, fear, or speak with animals]. Scram makes the universal gesture of grabby hands and excuses himself a safe distance to mizzium apparatus identify the ring. The apparatus belches a chaos bolt into Scram’s face. Tango is thrilled with his new chaos bolt ring.
Survivalist Ssatschia leads the party along the path’s southeastern fork, but the cruel forest twists their progress into a great circle. They find themselves back at the wagon by way of the northeastern fork now occupied by a pair of centaurs. Attempts at unrequited diplomacy are made by Moth, hindered by Scram’s capacity to emulate the centaur’s words without understanding the screeched phrase, Die, fiends! A centaur longbow arrow finds the same hole made by the thuggish heavy crossbow bolt in Scram earlier that morning. Most painful. The other centaur takes aim at Tango who charges into the arrow and slings himself around the centaur’s neck, flattening out onto his back and provocatively yelling, Yeehaw! Nala and Snory each inflict wounds on the unmounted centaur touched by death. Ssatschia and Moth inflict wounds on Tango’s centaur. The centaur gets to bucking and piking. Tango produces a kukri and methodically severs the centaur’s windpipe. Tango rolls off the collapsing beast and cleans the blade on its pelt. Whoa there.
Benefitting from the first attempt orienteering the Lluirwood, the party makes a second go of the southeastern fork and this time locates an obscure goat path that does not turn back west. A copse of taller and denser trees signals success, if getting deeper into the woods is one’s idea of success. The orc whom Nala quickly finds and slays would disagree and does so very loudly as his final act. Orcs pour out of the surrounding forest and charge aggressively into the party but are quickly and safely defeated. Ssatschia cures the wounds of Scram who thanks him with a hearty and well-intended, Die, fiends!
The lowering sun, already ineffectively lighting the dense and perilous forest floor, bodes ill. Following the faint sound of running water, the party has the greatest fortune to find a cozy cabin in a cozy clearing with an inviting lamp on the porch. Tango peeps in a window. A halfling reads a book. Tango knocks pleasantly on the door. Friendly owner / occupant Norder answers pleasantly. Tango explains they have been wrecking thugs, centaurs, and orcs all day long and would super appreciate respite in this fine cabin, even if it costs real gold.
Norder invites everyone in for honey tea, honey wine, honey corncakes, and honey elk meats. Norder passes all scrutiny and seems to be exactly as represented. Even so, the plentiful food, libations, conversation, and perfectly suited shelter are way too good to be true. Self-reliant Ssatschia, declining the ridiculously convenient hospitality, elects to patrol around the cabin instead.
