Chartreuse Death-X

Beard has that dream where he wakes up with half his hit points, whatever that means. It’s a notably calm day at the warren, where blades and three-dragon-ante cards are being sharped. Rooster enters, contemplating a paper, and summons Stitches, Nanny, Beard, and Bizzle to his office.

Rooster reveals the reason for his atypical lack of bellowed code color and priority number. The contract he contemplates requires discovery of the origin of a hip new street poison all the assassins want. And not just to find where the evil super-toxin gets made but also securing the means to make it for the R&S confidential customer, hence Rooster’s reluctance. Bizzle, with proverbial gold piece signs in his neutral eyes, points out that R&S could themselves make use of that knowledge to help the forces of good develop antitoxins, if the forces of good can afford R&S’s services.

Compunction assuaged, Rooster hands a sample vial of the chartreuse toxin to responsible adult Nanny and points them to Undertown, central hotbed of poisoning. Rooster doesn’t have a street name for the toxin, nor a specific contact. The group collaboratively decides on “Chartreuse Death-X” for the poison’s moniker and Bizzle convinces Beard to teleport using the vial as an associated object to locate a contact if not the actual source. What could go wrong?

The group appears in a jail cell with a surprised, masked human. He seems eager to believe that Bjargle sent them to his rescue, and Beard seems equally eager to believe that. Slow Bizzle inquires where the poison gets made in this here factory. Their cell host, Shiv, gets a little nervous about that question and he slips in to relieve Bizzle of a scimitar. Quick Nanny intercedes and Shiv finds himself holding Nanny’s waterskin at Bizzle’s throat instead of the scimitar. The awkwardness escalates when Beard begins rolling a blight spell in his glowing hands and Stitches shush, shush, shushes Shiv. When a prison guard out of view around the corner yells for some decorum, Bizzle reckons this would best be sorted back at R&S and they teleport out.

Rooster isn’t especially impressed with the simultaneous explanations when his operatives materialize in his office with a prisoner / hostage / person of interest. He makes the universal “close mouth” / “chicken dance” sign with both hands and throws a black patent-pending R&S Body Bag over Shiv, placing him in extradimensional stasis while Beard drags him to an interrogation cell.

Bad cops Stitches and Beard are first up alone with Shiv. Nanny and Bizzle observe through the one-way steel wall as Beard tries unsuccessfully to convince Stitches to bind Shiv’s ankles, just visible as Beard stands on the table barely lifting off the bag, but Stitches would rather eat her armor and yanks the bag off Shiv.

Stitches and Beard rapidly yell inquiries at Shiv and learn that he gets the CDX from his contact, Bjargle, in Undertown. The verbal abuse convinces Shiv he’s been institutionalized and he huddles in a corner of the cell while Stitches and Beard berate him. Beard magically searches him for poison and disease and finds Shiv suffers from a common Undertown malady, Dig Doodly Boo.

Good cops Nanny and Bizzle relieve Stitches and Beard and send them to get some funds from Rooster while they try to hire Shiv to make introductions with Bjargle. Nanny, through her helm of telepathy, knows Shiv agrees with the plan to the extent he wants to escape and ambush them, but what kind of untrustworthy, self-respecting rogue wouldn’t be plotting to turn the tables? For this service they agree upon 250 gp.

Meanwhile Stitches and Beard impose upon Rooster for some operating capital. He eventually figures out they want to pay off Shiv and aren’t just looking for a boat loan so he refers them to quartermaster Oaken. Stitches signs out two patent pending R&S Bank Bags of 1000 gp each.

Shiv gets paid half his commission up front and the group plus one steps into the mean streets to hire a cart into Undertown rather than expending Bizzle’s last teleportation charge of the day. Beard looks around for a suitable hire while Nanny and Stitches try unsuccessfully to keep Shiv in check. But Shiv is very slippy and gets away unseen until Beard transforms to a giant eagle and finds him trying to help some orphans rescue a kitten from a grandmother crossing the street, or some such nonsense.

Eventually Beard finds a cabby and Bizzle persuades him with 20 gp to take them to the very edge of Undertown, not a dagger’s edge farther. Irrepressible Shiv tries to ride up front but Beard yanks him into the carriage where he tries to help himself to Stitches’ pockets so she breaks his finger.  

In Undertown, Shiv borrows some chalk from Nanny to make a thieve’s cant marking on the town cistern. They adjourn to the Frosted Unicorn tavern to imbibe ale and stew while waiting for Bjargle. Beard looks appraisingly around at the torches and combustible materials. Shiv inquires why pick on him, to which Stitch replies because he’s vulnerable. Shiv’s pride is wounded but he appreciates the honest feedback.

A tavern torch winks out, signaling to Shiv the time for meeting Bjargle is nigh. The group collects outside near the cistern and Shiv warns them that four strangers, small as they are, might spook Bjargle. Nanny and Bizzle hang back in the shadows while strong Stitches and bag-holding Beard advance with Shiv for the introductions.

Once the parties meet, Shiv excuses himself and Bizzle, getting no indication from Nanny’s telepathic spying that things aren’t going perfectly according to plan, pays off Shiv the remaining 125 gp.

Bjargle cuts right to the chase: how much Venom do Stitches and Beard want? The price is now 100 gp, double because there are two of them. Beard thinks they want a measly single, but defers to their treasurer which really unnerves Bjargle who’s now looking around for Waterdeep cabinet members. Bjargle starts to leave so Bizzle and Nanny dash up yelling, Get him! Get him! while Bjargle starts yelling, Get them! Get them!

Stitches grapples Bjargle and Beard throws the bag over him, taking him out of the fight. Bjargle’s two arriving henchmen miss Nanny but get a dagger into Bizzle, fortunately missing the delivery of poison on him. Nanny and Bizzle turn to fight Orange Five and Blue Three while Shiv runs back in to try and depose Beard from holding Bjargle’s bag. Beard blights Shiv severely for his effort. Nanny and Bizzle drop Blue Three between her sneak attack and his finishing scimitars. Stitches moves to Shiv, finishing him with her warhammer and Nanny ends Orange Five.

The bodies can’t be dropped into the cistern because of the amount of Venom / CDX they carry but also because dropping dead bodies into the drinking supply is a gross thing to do to the townsfolk. Beard locates an empty apartment right off the area where they drag the bodies. Bizzle recovers almost all the gold paid to Shiv and hands back all the mission funding to Stitches who signed for it.

Beard summons eight mud mephits and commands them to secure Bjargle, but he releases Bjargle from the confining bag before the mephits are organized. Bjargle makes a run for it but not before Stitches relieves him of his poisoned dagger. Bjargle screams for help but Stitches shush, shush, shushes him and grapples him again.