Rollen regains consciousness, but the effects of multiple head trauma have taken their toll. “What happened?”
Meega gently guides him back to the path to look for the horses. As the fellowship’s only one-quarter orc, Meega has the most to lose if she and Rollen can not track a second horse to pull the cart. The casually-racist assumption that orcs are good at pulling carts happens to be true in Meega’s case, but that makes the characterization sting worse. It would be no help that the horse they find is entirely unsuitable for cart-pulling having lost several essential cart-pulling pertinences to lupine digestion, not the least of which the capacity for life.
Realizing a second horse would not be forthcoming from the universe, Argyle and Meega assist the remaining draft horse, Draco-Odor, at pulling the laden cart to Red Larch on schedule while the rest of the party provides additional ladening and some encouragement. Thusly do Rollen’s Regulars roll into Red Larch with royal reliability.
With the afternoon sun fleeting, the party divides up so as to spread offense and confusion at maximum efficiency. While Argyle thanks Moradin’s providence and proselytizes tough love at the all-faiths shrine, Allana and Blameless metatrope the tavern keeper at the Upside Down Mop Bucket at High Sun™ regarding one Endrith Vallivoe, sought to sign a waybill for the precious grey slab emanating plot lines from the cart.
Thanks to Red Larch’s pioneering postal address system, the party have no difficulty locating Vallivoe’s Sundries at #22 in the south of town. The unnervingly intermittent furtive visages of children validate an offhand comment made earlier by the tavernkeep that Vallivoe’s children “are a thing”. Setting aside all other considerations, the party attempts several modes of pediatric engagement including chasing, deadly force readying, dust kicking, deception, condescension, cajolement, and ambivalence. Meega and her 1% bubble pipe satisfy the puzzle and allow the party to progress, with Argyle lighting up the bubbles and Barrin contributing rodentry to the amusement. Argyle feeds the urchins.
The sundries shop contains many sundries but Vallivoe is not among them. Simon, noting the unchecked box for “signature required”, proposes leaving the stone under the welcome mat and calling it a job well done. But P.E. Ardak’s words linger on the wind, “Deliver the box to Vallivoe PERSONALLY! OooooOOOooo….”
The children’s testimony and a thorough investigation of the house allow these sanctioned conclusions:
- Vallivoe disappeared in the night unexpectedly four days ago.
- A few horse-mounted ne’erdowells entered the Sundry shop by forcing the back door, presumably coincident with 1. They rode off south.
- Small valuables and the cash till were heisted, presumably coincident with 2.
Armed with knowledge and arrows, the party determines to confront the local constabulary, Harburk, AKA the Butcher of Red Larch, at #11.
Attending the butcher shop is the butcher’s wife, a woman so uncommonly common that King Simon’s bond compels him to compel her to his aid, acquiring a ham and directions to the constable.
Two buildings over the detachment finds the constable and his deputies relaxing after a long day of abiding bandit raids. Simon, giving them a good monocle-ing over, learns that two deputies of Red Larch were earlier disemboweled on the road east. Gross. Because they are shorthanded, these pipe-huffing law men can’t be bothered to investigate the disappearance of Vallivoe.
Exhausted from a full day, the group elects to break for the night. They sample the fare at the tavern and rent rooms 3 and 4 overlooking the stables at the Swinging Sword. The evening passes without incident thanks to the vigilance and high armor class of William the Stable Boy. Argyle, snoozing under the cart, awakens with a blanket lovingly tucked around him.
At dawn, a ruckus involving the constable erupts outside the inn. Blameless interviews Rumpelstiltskin, an irate, transient merchant who indicates his two horses, cart, and a superior Waterdeep-bound boar were stolen right under his nose at #21, the market on the edge of town, by two horse-mounted bandits making south. An investigation of the site reveals Rumpelstiltskin’s nose was actually in town during the heist, but the two-horsed-bandits story is completely legit as far as he knows. Proceeding on this dubious information, the fellowship pursues south on foot.
Careful investigation down the south Long Road leads the party along a side path recently marked by four horses and a cart. Barrin scouts imperceptibly ahead and spies four bandits eating ill-gotten boar. Nearby are four horses and an enigmatically caged black bear. After carefully collating data on the camp, Barrin, drawing on years of training and preparation at monk academy, uses sophisticated, detailed hand and arms signals to silently and painstakingly communicate these particulars back to the party creeping up the path. Simon, cleanly separating character knowledge from player knowledge, charges up the embankment. Barrin crits on dual-wield facepalm.
Alerted to the presence of interlopers, three of the four bandits take cover behind rocks until mortally subdued, but not before the black bear liberates himself upon the party. Many attempts to sequentially calm, scare, and mouth-punch the bear prove mutually exclusive, but eventually it becomes bored and leaves. The fourth bandit, panicking into error, escapes into a cave behind the camp.
Inside the cave the adventurers discover an advanced alarm system, fresh blood on the floor, and size 18 footprints. On the lookout for a hemophilic artificer wearing clown shoes, Simon, carefully observing the ceiling and reciting the lyrics for shield, narrowly avoids hosting four hungry stergis for supper.
Around the corner, a locked door successfully distracts everyone from the ogre leaping from a nearby chasm. The leaping ogre successfully distracts everyone from the goblin emerging from the opening door. Untypically unnerved, Argyle drops his beloved warhammer down the chasm, gobsmacking him beyond the capacity even to randomize an inappropriate remark. Simon, defying the 400-to-1 odds, critically firebolts the ogre at point blank range and, for an encore, mage hands Argyle’s 2 lb warhammer up from the chasm.
The party discovers the bandit leader’s body beyond the doors. In his pocket an unsealed, folded note credits the Lord of Lance Rock with arranging the bandit abduction of Vallivoe. Having already executed sentencing on the bandits, the party recovers the evidence of their malfeasance. They don’t call this the Sword Coast for its progressive jurisprudence.
The vanquished occupants of the cave hold surprising wealth for folks choosing to occupy a cave. The party arranges a transfer of assets while, unbeknownst to everyone else, Allana mysteriously suspects the promise of even greater wealth beyond a throne on the far side of the room. Rollen, suspicious at discovering a throne inside a cave, cajoles King Simon into checking it for traps by sitting on it.
Simon seats himself on the throne to assume reign over the cave. The throne’s Ghost Guard manifests suddenly and wastes no time reducing Simon’s life force to zero and putting him into a magically-induced coma. Argyle, observing Simon’s discomfort trying to be prone in a chair, whisks the king away to safety while others discuss the metaphysical ramifications of sticking a noncorporeal being with entirely-corporeal arrows.
“GO NO FURTHER,” warns the Ghost Guard. Allana, who ain’t scared of no ghost, skips ahead to the post-mortem investigation phase.
“Hey, guys, there’s a chamber back here.”
The Ghost Guard takes offense.
“LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAVE”
Allana finds a lock behind the throne.
“LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAVE”
Barrin picks the lock.
“LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAVE”
The throne slides forward revealing a rusted door forced open by Meega.
“LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAVE”
The ghost, catching a well-struck arrow from Rollen, dies sighing.
“leeeeeeeeeeeeeave…”
Inside the hidden chamber lies a stone coffin.