Author: Blameless

As the MechaGnome rises destructively from its silo, the party watches its Achilles’ open doorways slowly go by. Goldbricking Zanna remains behind while the rest of the party jumps aboard the MechaGnome’s ankles.

Symmetrical elevators intuitively lift them up through the legs into the reunifying steam-filled groinal area which throbs deafeningly with the slap of pistons, no doubt providing the MechaGnome’s macro motivation. The disorienting gait threatens to topple the subdextrous.

Snory, admiring the wall of brass piping, looks for any mechanical vulnerabilities or emergency power off switches that might halt the MechaGnome. Moth and Scram listen at a couple of doors whose primary purpose seems to be attenuation of the extremely deafening cacophony of steamworks beyond. Nala examines a closed, dorsal elevator that troubles Ssatschia’s sense of architectural analogy.

Ssatschia and Scram poke into one of the side pump rooms, verifying a level of noise so high that Ssatschia might actually experience symptoms. Scram looks around for something that might be vulnerable to a radical change in tolerance by way of enlarge/reduce but instead settles on a nice, toasty firebolt shot into a fuse box. Primary systems rerout to bypass the smoldering fuses, and a team of rollies dispense out of the brass works.

Nala cleaves right through the nearest rolly which death bursts hot oil and shrapnel into the party. The remaining rollies are dispatched with some moderate bursting. With Ssatschia on the verge of a noise-induced migraine, the party summons the elevator and selects the next level up.

The ride quality and noise are slightly improved at this higher level, but not the environment one might expect to find Warbis Sparkcoil enduring. As mucking up the mechanicals would only bring more bursting rollies, the party elects to skip to the topmost selectable level: four.

The elevator opens on a level four lounge where several inebriated gnome scientists are redistributing wealth via three dragon ante. Snory flexes his charisma to engage the wizards in gregarious banter, but fortunately they are too intoxicated to take exception. Moth regards a large, enticingly red button on the wall but resists its allure. The party slips up a circular staircase along the back of what seems to be the mouth level room while Snory lingers to distract the disinterested card players.

The next level up, five, is the eyes and ears observation deck which provides a terrific view of the passing island forest.

Ssatschia sneaks up toward the next level and overhears a bit of conversation. Gnome mage Rustreach is bossing a couple of scientists to produce some data, pronto, on the cause of the junction failure and automated rolly deployment down on level one. Scram sidles up next to Ssatschia and inquires, compressed entirely into the mimicked sound of a crackling fire of course, whether this might be an opportune time to deploy a spell of mizzium apparatus facilitated burning hands across the clearly sober gnome team even now diligently attempting to discover the party’s presence? Ssatschia, hearing only the unstealthy crackling fire, shushes Scram. Scram, unable to extract a no from the shush, burning hands across level six, immolating the two scientists instantly. Rustreach survives the burning, but Scram’s somatic twin birds are emotionally devastating.

Incensed, incinerated, insulted Rustreach commands Scram to Go Downstairs. Scram abides, passes Nala going up, meets Snory on level five, regards his command as fulfilled, and dashes back up. Curious Snory follows. Moth laments the unprovoked and wanton destruction of the smoldering scientists and opens wide a side door where Warbis Sparkcoil had prepared a couple of flying pipes to hit Moth in the gob. Sparkcoil misty steps up a level leaving Moth to defend himself with his short sword and sort out his moral compass.

Rustreach, covering her boss’s retreat, fireballs the room. Nala goes for Rustreach and, channeled by Ssatschia’s divinity, slays the mage. Scram evokes more burning hands across Joe and Randy, the flying pipes. Moth lays each pipe out with his short sword.

The party pursues misty stepping Sparkcoil to level six. Nala figures out that Sparkcoil is hoisting himself up the hat shaft on a wooden lift, hand-operated by a rope loop. She throws her weight on the up-running side of the loop to slow him down. Scram longingly identifies the numerous flammable vulnerabilities in Sparkcoil’s escape and pops a warning firebolt harmlessly into the wall just over Ssatschia’s head. Snory and Ssatschia lend their weight to arresting Sparkcoil’s ponderous ascent. Scram bombs the lift with a vitriolic sphere that drops Warbis Sparkcoil 30’ to the floor in a heap of acid-singed flesh and bubbling blood. Moth punches him out.

Sparkcoil is extradited to Quietreach into the custody of Ferin Blackleaf.

Zanna jumps a little and takes a call from Ferin on his vibrative stone of farspeech. All ok? All ok. Scram and Tango incoming. Zanna scribes a drop zone on the floor with his chalk of portaling and yanks the balance of Alpha into Warbis Sparkcoil’s underground island laboratory complex. Scram and Tango received, out.

Ssatschia and Nala catch everyone up on the adventure thus far. Warbis Sparkcoil is constructing a terrible new weapon to wipe out life on the island. Sparkcoil, the weapon, or both will most likely be found down those stairs to the north. There are several unexplored doors on the current level as well. Snory and Moth check out a side passage that seems to be a prison. Hearing moans from inside, Scram reduces a cell door off its hinges. An emaciated and generally unwell human, introducing himself as Gyyonyyathyyun, accepts Moth’s ration of vienna hash browns and answers charismatic Tango’s many questions.

Farmer Gyyonyyathyyun was abducted from his family to find himself one of many experimental subjects of the crazy head gnome in charge, Dr. Sparkcoil. Subjects were secured to tables and methodically exposed to electricity. Sparkcoil himself usually performed the life force siphoning sessions from his office just off the apparatus room. The laboratory doors are activated by staff using blank cards, about the size of a three dragon ante card. Once subjects have reached the apparent end of their involuntary contribution, they pass through the formidable doors at the end of the prison hallway never to return.

Zanna liberates Gyyonyyathyyun to return to his family farm or whatever. The party returns to Sparkcoil’s office seeking one of the door key cards so that Scram’s prodigious talents are not exhausted shrinking all the doors in the complex. Nala bootpicks open the door in the back of Sparkcoil’s office into a dark closet.

Lurking assassin Gibbrevar misses his one opportunity to get the drop on Nala. A procession of damage unloads on Gibbrevar who yields unconditionally at the sight of Nala’s looming greatsword. Nala demands any and all nearby door key cards. Gibbrevar persuasively claims absolutely no idea where a door key card might be found.

Snory invites Gibbrevar to open the safe under Sparkcoil’s desk which Gibbrevar obligingly does … with his door key card. Ssatschia pins Gibbrevar to the wall threateningly. Oh, you mean THIS door key card. Joker Scram deorganizes a couple of Sparkcoil’s “Q” volumes. Snory, Moth, and Ssatschia empty out the safe, taking a wind up toy and valuable gems [100 gp]. The closet contains displays of some unique Sparkcoil possessions including an irresistible, chained, leather-bound, restless tome that ends up in Snory’s haversack. Scram ransacks some lockers and amasses a very small fortune in shiny objects [33 sp] and disintegrating keys [0 sp].

With sticky fingers satiated, the party heads down the stairs guided by insider Gibbrevar and his all-access door key card. Tango remains behind to narratively ensure the humane liberation of all remaining prisoners, thorough collection of all remaining valuables, and careful exploration of all remaining areas.

Through a set of heavy blast doors below, Ssatschia wastes no time passing through a decontamination area and right into the enormous MechaGnome silo where an army of gnome technologists tend to the MechaGnome from mezzanines equipped  with electromechanically operated steamwork consoles.

Joy sparking Scram helps himself to the closest console and mashes every button. MechaGnome’s right arm twitches and thrashes but Scram cannot quite get it to flip the bird, as the Kenku kids say. A gnome mage firebolts Scram off the console.

Nala forces Gibbrevar to point out Sparkcoil, but Sparkcoil is not among the gnomes all ducking for safety behind the equipment as the MechaGnome begins to rattle and hum to life.

Ssatschia runs down a gnome priest and fatally inflicts wounds on him. The gnome mage, unnerved by the brutally instantaneous destruction of his priest buddy, mistily steps away from Ssatschia and right into Nala’s tumbling handaxe.

The surrounded gnome mage will never give up Sparkcoil, but her loyalty suddenly seems immaterial when the MechaGnome loudly, if unnecessarily, announces it is “out of here” and smashes up through the silo ceiling. Falling rubble crushes Snory, Ssatschia, and Moth. Scram, generating showers of sparks from the overbuttoned consoles, makes note of the ankle door hatches on the departing MechaGnome.

STEVE the dragon turtle, following a brutal steam attack on Watc, makes some dire warnings in draconic. Draconically proficient Ander infers that maybe the little dragon aboard the shipwrecked Dusty Reaver is a close relation worthy of protection. Draconically proficient Ash suspects maybe it is treasure that is important to STEVE.

Sqyylarr contemplates whether it would be sporting to further smash the webbed druid merfolk lady, but she looks entirely helpless and Sqyylarr gives her a pass. For now. Unless things don’t pick up. Soon.

Ash and Barika each take a momentary glance into a couple of closed cabins wherein wait new potential enemy combatants. Mutual passes are given.

Ten, jostled by the unexplained steam eruption, forms a circle of power to cover their anticipated harrowing escape from within the ship.

Topside, Watc ducks out of sight on the opposite side of the wreck. STEVE does not pursue. Watc lefty-loosies the spanner on one of the blue glowing nuts around the base of the astral throne, but the ratchet spanner spins uselessly. A reversing switch on the spanner bites and quickly spins the first nut away from its bolt and into Watc’s pocket.

The party, covered by Ten and Sqyylarr, slips out of the ship to the topside. Ander warns them about STEVE the angry, stingy dragon turtle loudly complaining about treasure thieves. Ash takes up a chat with STEVE.

STEVE focuses on preventing treasure theft. If STEVE is being completely honest, it would be best for the intruding party to leave posthaste, to use a draconic expression. Ash agrees, just as soon as the party collects a bit of scrap wood completely unrelated to treasure. Barika peeks over the side at STEVE and confirms: both dragon and turtle. Ten and Sqyylarr see to the recently diminished health of Watc.

Watc removes the last three nuts. Ander reduces the throne to a more manageable size. Ten, of legendary duo Ten and Peller, mage-sleight-of-hands the mission objective into his cloak. The party withdraws leaving STEVE in peace with his precarious shipwreck, his druidic merfolk acolyte, his rooms of bypassed encounters, and his dragon babby.

Back aboard the skiff, Sqyylarr places the dragon compass into the unreduced astral throne’s dragon-compass-shaped recess. It clicks satisfyingly into place, but nothing amazing happens. There remains an empty mount for the missing sapphire purloined from Captain Billy Badger by Ulrozax, the sticky-fingered wizard, so long ago.

Cartographer Watc creates a return treasure map for Crazy Eyes with the annotation: Beyond here there be STEVE.

Ssatschia cracks open some rabbit bones for the tasty marrow within while Ferin Blackleaf introduces dinner guest Zanna, a wizard-looking gnome wizard, to Alpha Company. Zanna explains the anticipated mission to Mystery Island where known genius supervillain Warbis Sparkcoil has been recently located since long evading the attention of Zanna’s Gnomish Intelligence Team. GIT suspects Sparkcoil of hatching a diabolical plot to destroy all indigenous life on Mystery Island with his weapon of mystery destruction, the MechaGnome. Exactly what life Mystery Island stands to lose is, frankly, something of a mystery but might include woke talking animals and mixed humanoids.

Alpha prepares spells and equipment and invites Zanna for his teleportation skills. Ssatschia offers up a warrior’s benediction: one blow, one kill, hooah.

Alpha materializes in a grove of trees along a pleasant coast line just north of the mine entrance to Sparkcoil’s alleged base of operation. The rocky cave mouth gives way to worked stone. A pile of boulders carefully removed by Nala and Ssatschia reveals a door. A faint rustling can be heard through the door which Moth opens to investigate. The orderly library beyond comprises books, mostly authored by Warbis Sparkcoil, and some reading tables. One open book on one of the tables is flipping back and forth through its pages for no particular reason other than to cause the attractive rustling. Ssatschia places the flat of his blade across the ghost book inciting several swarms of flying books to converge on the party. A central smothering rug, relationship unknown, joins the fray. Books and rug are dispatched with neither too great an effort nor reinforcements. Snory searches the shelves for helpful tomes regarding MechaGnome and locates five rare volumes [up to 50 gp each] that provide considerable insight into Sparkcoil and his work centering on an otherwise unknown algorithm that may or may not involve a portal.

Ssatschia and Nala combine their brute force to defeat a formidable lock on a door through the east wall of the library leading into a fancy gallery of scientific and technologic knickknacks prominently featuring a large, central, hand-turned mechanical orrery. A smaller orrery is along the south wall. A gratuitous portrait of Sparkcoil adorns the east wall. A transparent yet impassible doorway / window situation to the north shows off a large iron scaffolding that one could easily imagine hosting a transplanar portal. Snory’s trap finding spell certifies the room is safe for reckless exploration. Ssatschia and Nala go straight for the orrery operators and spin the planets in various directions. Moth declares the heliocentric display as ignorant and heretical. Ssatschia and Nala declare it fun. Snory locates five more rare Sparkcoil tomes with some very specific and foreboding details on the MechaGnome and, significantly, what looks to be the consequential Sparkcoil Algorithm. Even brainiac Zanna finds little familiarity in the equations.

Moth crosses to the door through the west side of the library. Radically advanced fixtures light the hallway. Around a corner, a laboratory features a pair of reclining procedure beds, fluid tanks, and other apparatus arranged for unknown but worrisome purposes. Nala admires some inviting levers that appear unrelated to the other devices. Specimen jars arranged around the room contain sundry human samples and possibly one cat head. Several unconventionally locked doors are dispersed around the room, each with an adjacent key slot indicating a discouraging red. Undiscouraged Nala and Ssatschia again combine their efforts to force open a door to the south. The fractured doorway reveals surrounding bolts, now askew. Nala enters an appealingly tidy private office, most likely Sparkcoil’s. Snory fiddles noncommittally with the levers to learn whether they would release the door bolts. Moth, eager to explore a room to the west from which some whimpering and scratching can be heard, nudges Snory aside and gives a lever a proper push over. Clicks sound around the west door suggesting success. Ssatschia opens the door to a gore-coated procedure room suggesting a problematic experiment within. A flying scalpel lunging for Ssatschia suggests the experiment is not yet concluded. A blood-soaked mage cowering in the corner suggests they leave her alone. The mage has been confined so long that she has forgotten her name. Might be several days, even months. One thing for sure, she cut up that gnome “scientist” pretty well. One other thing for sure, she is darn well leaving now and no one argues with that particular point. Oh, and in case it helps, there was recent chatter about an un-unlockable door that could only be accessed by removing power to it. Spontaneous advice like that should never be ignored. The nameless mage departs. Snory collects the pituitary gland of the deconstructed gnome “scientist” but locates no identification in the gore.

Ssatschia and Nala explore the similar, but less icky, adjacent procedure room and recover some slightly damaged medical supplies from a cabinet. Ssatschia operates the final lever releasing the north door lock. Nala enters in time to see a few spheres rolling out of installed copper delivery pipes. The spheres unroll into a couple of regular rolly units and one big rolly unit. Nala wastes no time greatswording the rollies. Moth comes in critically punching. Ssatschia inflicts such wounds as to attract the worst of the rolly revenge fisting and must clerically sustain his consciousness. Snory conveniently finds no good place to stand adjacent and safely collects death tolls from the next room. The rollies are defeated leaving the room safe to explore. A logbook on the table dates back to pre-rolly times when actual unionized guards would patrol and record their encounters. Ssatschia takes a look down some stairs.

Captain Stan Punshike, skipper of the comped Jah’poneezy Slipper, embarks Charlie Company for the voyage to the long-wrecked Dusty Reaver. Crazy Eyes sees them off with an emphatic reminder that any spare artifacts or items would be of value to her. Don’t forget your friend Crazy Eyes!

After a few languid days of sailing, Punshike announces their arrival over the Deathshell Trench. Punshike reads nothing into that ominous name, but of course he will not be making the descent to the wreckage which happens to be precariously stretched over said trench, prepped to slide punitively into the abyss at the first attempt to dismantle the plot. Ten’s first order of business is to mend some load bearing stress fractures, though he doubts mending rotten wood together will ultimately stabilize the derelict.

The party begins with a reconnoiter over the bow. Several openings in the deck, some by design and some by damage or time, afford views into the lower levels. Sqyylarr glimpses a bit of gold, a bit of statue, maybe a bit of golden statue. Watc dispels an alarm spell over the opening. Sqyylarr pokes in and finds a hunter shark below. Barika attempts to befriend the shark, but it already has a friend.

Ash takes a higher vantage point and swims aft where he notices a considerable gash down the port midship. More importantly, he locates the helm a.k.a. the astral throne. It would be hard to miss with the three, no, four conspicuously glowing blue lights around its base. A patrolling merrow notices Ash and bellows for backup. Ash knocks an arrow and bellows for backup. A harpoon, perfectly aimed at some of Watc’s critical infrastructure, runs out of momentum and clinks harmlessly off. Ash looses his own projectile but has not adjusted to the nuances of underwater longbowing. Sqyylarr likewise swings her smash into the merrow, but smash slips her grip and sails off the side of the ship and lands in the sea floor.

The merrow’s coworkers arrive and line up to bite Barika who worries about mer-rabies. Barika fatally fillets the first merrow. A merrow follows Sqyylarr pursuing her smash and mistakes her for easy pickings. Sqyylarr clobbers the merrow with a combo smash. Ash’s longbow, Ten’s shillelagh, Barika’s great axe, Watc’s ray of frosting, and Sqyylarr’s smash complete the final two merrow without much difficulty.

Ten flexes an aura of vitality to repair battle damage. Barika and Watc examine the astral throne and discover the blue lights are octagonal fasteners which could hopefully be loosened by an easily identifiable arcane spanner. Barika, feeling clever, sticks her head through a hole in the aft deck to peer below. The arcane alarm startles her almost as much as some unexpected deep chuckling, and she smacks her noggin getting away. Watc reckons the captain’s cabin would be just aft of the portside damage, as featured in Gill Claytons salvage log, and would be the likeliest location for an arcane spanner if still on the wreckage.

Ander dispels the arcane alarm over the gashed out opening and swims into the side of the ship. He finds Barika’s unfriended hunter shark and boops it on the nose with a catapulted rock. He returns to the party to report one infuriated hunter shark, nose freshly askew. Sqyylarr enters the ship to finish off the shark. Barika follows to intercept the hunter shark’s two hunter friends. Ander characteristically flips his artificious coin over his head but impatiently snatches it from its wonky wobble through the water. Out folds his aquatically adapted torpedo ballista which knocks one of the sharks off Barika. Ash viciously longbows the other shark. Sqyylarr, adapting to underwater combat, twirls between the sharks smashing both into lingering globules of pulverized shark chum.

An empirically attractive merfolk druid lass with a generously charismatic midriff emerges from the gore cloud with a warning not to steal from The Great One’s ship. Before delving into the finer points of maritime salvage law, Ander wants to know exactly who is this The Great One? The Great One is The Great One, and he does not abide theft. Would The Great One happen to be a dragon known by some as APPOTHROMAX by any chance? No, The Great One is The Great One, and the merfolk druid cannot emphasize enough that theft from The Great One is entirely unacceptable. Ander leans into Sqyylarr to confirm, the plan is definitely to take things from the ship? Oh, hell yeh. Ander produces his arcane screwdriver and webs the merfolk druid. The stuck merfolk druid thunderwaves the lot of them. Still optimistic for a diplomatic solution, Ander ignores the attack and pokes his head into a nearby room looking for the merfolk druid’s supervisor. Possibly the dragon lurking within might be a supervisor. Ander closes the door softly. Curious Ash takes a followup gander into the same room. Dragon. He closes the door softly.

Around the corner back at the captain’s cabin, Watc dispels a scary warding illusion and enters with Ten to search the cabin. Keen eyed Ten immediately spots an oilskin draped over an item of interest and dramatically unveils the golden arcane spanner, complete with glowing blue business end. Watc yoinks the arcane spanner and expeditiously swims for the astral throne, mutedly declaring mission accomplished on her way out.

A broiling eruption of turtle-smelling steam envelopes Watc the moment she emerges from the side of the ship.

Xalver and Ferin Blackleaf catch Charlie Company on the hang at Quietreach. Xalver reports that some progress has been made translating the APPOTHROMAX book liberated from the late unlate Phlouwurz the Skeletal Necromancer. It turns out the dragon compass and a yet to be located diamond shaped sapphire might both fit into an astral throne that would be ever so helpful in finding APPOTHROMAX, thought to be an essential step in the defeat of Tophe, Tharizdun, et al. A very old, possibly useless, lead is some association with what may or may not have been a sailing vessel, the Dusty Reaver. And the contact to find that Dusty Reaver is an enigmatic rogue named Mouse Biggerstaff whose mystery is wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a shadow. And Mouse, the Pirate Isle contact, is at the end of a special travel conduit commonly known as a sewer.

The party emerges from the sewer into the busy dockside shipping town of Pirate Point. They head toward the centrally prominent inn tavern where they will be easily found by Mouse. Not one to disappoint, Mouse meets Ash at the door and they converse in their thieves’ dialect setting up the riddle that ensures mutual validation. Clever Ander quickly solves the riddle and Ash gives both the answer and the secret passphrase, Eyes Everywhere. His diabolical puzzle unraveled, Mouse points the party to their next challenge a few feet away: the harbormaster’s office.

Ash takes Barika into the office of fancy pants harbormaster Corim “Boat Man” Loomfield. Expecting all kinds of pirate shenanigans, Ash improvises noms de guerre Alfred and Chazowicz and hints broadly at their possibly clandestine need for discrete transport of certain goods. Perfectly legit Boat Man offers a menu of ships for any shipping need. Not on the menu, yet worth mentioning, is a ship anchored some distance off to the south; it is not for hire. Leery Alfred Ash avoids direct inquiry about the Dusty Reaver.

The party wanders casually through town reading transom names off moored ships. None match Dusty Reaver, although the Rusty Beaver gets pretty close. Ash chances mentioning the Dusty Reaver to a buxom elven dockhand with a deep voice. She refers Ash back to Boat Man regarding that legendary ship from before her time. Boat Man knows a little about the legendarily fast sailing Dusty Reaver, but for the details they should seek out Blithe “Archie” Tanner, a local information broker whose information shop will close in 20 minutes.

Archie is not thrilled when several adventurers pile into his shop only 19 minutes before closing. Sqyylarr guards the door. For 10 silver pieces Archie produces a shipping log that locates the final voyage of the Dusty Reaver, Captain Billy Badger commanding, along the east coast of Sembia near Yhaunn. Corroborating town records indicate one surviving crewman, Ruford Tempest, washed ashore in pirate’s Point. Fortuitously, Ruford still resides in Pirate Point at the Salty Ladies Inn.

At the Inn, Tenebrous “Ten” “Bambi” Shae approaches the bar tended by salty ladies Sallie “Pirate” Kirby and Jonesy “Soother” Atherton. Sure, they know Ruford “Two Toes” Tempest, but has at least two toes and no urgent interest in meeting some tourist adventurers. The party orders a couple of rounds while they wait, including for local barfly Lucy. Sqyylarr guards the door. Ten studies the crowd for anyone out of place. Ander magically wafts bacon smells into the tavern. Ash offers some coin to Soother if she can expedite the meeting with Two Toes. She can.

Through the kitchen and up a ladder, the party finds Dusty Reaver shipwreck survivor Ruford “Two Toes” Tempest. Sqyylarr guards the door. Long before establishing this here inn as The Drowned Rat and subsequently turning its day-to-day over to the Salty Ladies, Two Toes fondly served as Captain Badger’s cabin boy from age 6. On any given voyage, Badger would manipulate the ship’s exquisitely crafted helm using a diamond shaped sapphire, tucked around his neck when not in use, sending the Dusty Reaver through an extraplanar shortcut of blue glows and purple skies that shaved parsecs off the conventional routes relegating his competition. This competitive advantage was suddenly lost, perhaps coincidentally around the same time Badger no longer seemed to possess the diamond sapphire. Oh, and, possibly there was a dragon-shaped depression about the size of a compass on that helm as well. Watc’s iron filings stand on end as she recognizes the astral throne from Xalver’s mission briefing and its capacity to stitch through the astral plane. Ander, hoping to collect on an open-ended wager, attempts to prompt Two Toes into recalling whether a kraken was involved in the destruction of the Dusty Reaver. Two Toes wraps up by suggesting the party seek out Gill Clayton, a salvager who might have recovered some of the Dusty Reaver, or at least know where it lies. Now, Gill Clayton passed some time back so if that’s any kind of barrier to the inquisitive adventurers then maybe Gill’s surviving daughter Estella “Crazy Eyes” Clayton would be the next best thing.

As the town shops seemed to be closing by this time, the party elects to partake of the Salty Ladies’ hospitality. Ten haggles the room rate from what everyone agrees is a ludicrously exorbitant 20 gp per night down to a merely piratic 8 gp. They retire to a luxurious twin suite with extra baths. Sqyylarr guards the door.

The next morning, the party shares a breakfast and a chat with the townies. Everything still smells like bacon except the bacon. Ten is surprised when Ash effortlessly discovers the location of Crazy Eyes’ shop in two seconds simply by asking local patron Scurvy. Ander ritually casts water breathing across the party since it seems like it might be that kind of day. Sqyylarr guards the door.

The party locates the brightly covered tent that is Odds & Ends, Crazy Eyes proprietor. Sqyylarr guards the door. Crazy Eyes does not specifically remember where the Dusty Reaver wrecked, but 18 gp jogs her memory enough to locate her pop’s logbook entry on the subject:

Saw young Ruford Tempest wash up on shore today, almost a full week after Billy’s ship headed toward Yhaunn.  Ol’ Billy always did have a lot of gold.  Maybe I can figure out the location based on the boy’s recollection.
…
I think I’ve narrowed it down to a reasonable search area.  Stella and I will head out tomorrow, and I’ll take a dive or two.
…
Eureka, I think we’ve found the place!  Still enough bits and pieces of wreckage that I was able to pinpoint the location of the ship quicker than I expected.  I went down far enough to verify I could see the wreckage.  I’ll make another run to see what all I can find. [Specific Coordinates pinpointing the location are listed here]
…
What the heck was THAT?!  I had only just gotten to the wreck and made my way into the captain’s quarters when the ship felt like it was rammed, gave an almighty lurch, and felt like it was about to break in two!  I managed to grab Billy’s journal, blessedly wrapped tight in an oilskin.  I won’t be going back down there, and risk leaving Stella fatherless.  Maybe he’ll have information about some gold he buried somewhere…

Since that 18 gp goes a long way to affording the night at the Salty Ladies that Crazy Eyes has long been saving for, she fetches in Billy’s journal for no additional consideration:

What a great day!  Finally inherited Great Grandad’s ship from Dad, who is retiring to a very large Estate up North.  He took me aside and showed the “power” of the Dusty Reaver.  I never realized it was as simple as pressing grandad’s sapphire into the slot on this helm he called the Astral Throne…
… After studying three generations of maps, and a few trial runs, I’m ready to start building my reputation as the fastest shipper in all the lands!

[Forty or so years of entries later…]

Passenger transfer – Luskan on the sword coast to Mosstone in Firedrake Bay – Ulrozax (no last name given) – 1000gp for two day delivery.  Passenger is an odd one, covered head to foot in robes.  Seemed very interested in how the ship works, and skulked around near the bridge deck day and night.  I ordered the passengers belowdeck before I initiated the transport, but I swear I saw that old man duck around the corner right as I finished transporting us back out of the Astral plane…

This can’t be happening!  I woke up from a dead sleep this evening to find Ulrozax standing over me, Great Grandad’s sapphire in hand!  He cackled madly and disappeared, right out of my cabin!  I sounded the alarm, and we ransacked the ship, but the apparent wizard was nowhere to be found!

[Two or so years of much sadder and more mundane entries later…]

Crazy Eyes mentions she has some scrolls for sale that might – Ander offers to buy the lot, sight unseen. Crazy Eyes is particularly proud of a proprietary water breathing PLUS spell that grafts underwater movement onto the mundane water breathing spell. Ander demonstrates his own mastery on the topic by mainlining his endless watering decanter into his ritualistic breathing of water mouth. What a mess. Crazy Eyes prospects the scrolls for no charge in return for anything from the wreckage that might interest her.

Alfred Ash and Bambi Ten return to harbormaster Boat Man to charter the square rigger Hail And Well Met out to a certain location for, oh, say, seven days round trip. Knowingly amused Boat Man wonders if perhaps maybe they have the Dusty Reaver in mind. Maybe…ok, yes. In that case, the use of the private vessel discretely anchored to the south, the Jah’poneezy Slipper, has already been arranged for their purpose by the owner, none other than Ruford “Two Toes” Tempest. Boat Man’s conspicuous and unsettling amusement suggests the mission has fallen right into this comically pirate-handled town denizens’ collective practical joke.

Ash happily picks at the mine wall for Khyber dragon shard crystals and reminds anyone who will listen how great King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther is. Then he snaps out of the charm and hurries to catch up to Charlie Company wrecking face. Ten briefs Ash on the duergar miners who were liberated, the duergar guards and elementals who were destroyed, and King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther who is just down that hallway shooting beholder beams of anti-magic at them.

Ander considers making a flour bomb to roll up the tracks at KBB, but Ten doubts the effectiveness of flour as a destructive force unless KBB is doing keto. Ander next considers reconnoiter by fireball, but fast acting Ash is already charging up the hall toward a few approaching duergar who are immune to the persuasion of known duergar agitator Kariggs. Barika and Sqyylarr dash to try and keep up with Ash. They are joined by Ten’s spiritual weapon. Ander, a little worried about his magically attached prosthetic arm and leg, hangs back but brings his force ballista online to cannonize the duergar thugs. Watc is a little worried about her magically attached, well, everything and goes looking for a way through the mine to sneak up behind KBB’s eye ray cones.

Instead of fleeing the mine in gentlemanly capitulation, KBB has tactically withdrawn into his ceiling hole chambers from which he encouragingly motivates his enthralled minions and discouragingly eye-rays Ash with a petrification ray. Ash is worried enough to yell for help, yet composed enough to strike a heroic draw ready to plunge a longbow arrow into KBB should his emergence and Ash’s restoration ever coincide.

An anti-magic ray suppresses Ten’s spiritual weapon. Ten counters with a spiritual guardian to plug the ceiling hole so that KBB may either suppress one or the other. Ten restores petrified Ash, telekinetically shakes Sqyylarr awake from ray-induced sleep, and night steps behind a column decorated with the Khyber tile collection.

Ander suffers separation anxiety as his magically attached artificed limbs detach in the anti-magic ray. He drops the force ballista for autonomous firing mode at the duergar henchmen and takes up a position to cast upwardly scorching rays at KBB.

Restored Ash gets a couple of wide-open shots on KBB and pours in his slayer, ensnaring, goading, and pushing strikes. Barika’s greataxe finds some purchase on the duergar henchmen, but mostly she absorbs damage and eye rays so that her team does not have to. Ander’s ring links up to Ten’s divinity to bolster Barika’s health. Ten pops around the pillar of tucking to drop necrotic harm on KBB. Unnerved KBB manages only to frighten Barika.

Pent-up Sqyylarr smashes through the henchmen Harnir and Thalkahm. Watc pops out of the shallow river and immolates KBB’s insides while Ander fatally scorches rays on his outsides. Henchman Ragmand snaps out of dead KBB’s enthrall just barely saving him from Sqyylarr’s next fatal smash.

With WynkGlarx’s permission as impromptu union leader, Charlie Company gathers up all the loose Khyber dragon crystals, more than enough to satisfy the mission requirements. Available gold funds are gathered from each according to his ability to compensate the surviving miners each according to his need. Ander liberates a few books:

Architecture for Dummies by Walldorf Bricklayer
Column Building for Fun and Profit by Doric Alabastror
A journal on Basic Dragonshard Forging by Melton Hotsweaver

Several of the Khyber mine insurrectionists realize suddenly they would rather leave than fight. Also, Ash would suddenly rather be Barika.

Barika jumps right in with an enraged assault on the fire elemental myrmidon overseer known as Yando to some. Ten, wreathed in shadow, flicks his divinely striking thorn whip nimbly through the long clog of striking miners striking Yando with tools and weapons. Yando’s dubious legacy ends with a javelin thrown by recently oppressed Kariggs.

A barely noticeable eye emerges from the western wall and reasserts mind control over Thybek and Vondrak who obediently return to mining. Watc and local personality WynkGlarx coax them back into the rebellion. Watc, vaguely sensing a looming moral dilemma, yoinks five of the mission objective Khyber crystals from a mine cart and tucks them into her handy fannysack.

More motivational posters around the captured chamber extoll King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther’s exploitive labor philosophy.

Sqyylarr checks out a side door bypassed by the growing mob who follow the mine tracks east. This room is a combination barracks and archery range where duergar Cabernet manages to sleep through the commotion. Sqyylarr liberates woke Cabernet and Khyber crystal number six. Just twenty-four crystals to go.

Sqyylarr and Barika chase down some fleeing stone guards who lead them to a couple of mind masters to the south. Although they are duergar like the enslaved miners, this lot has benefitted from King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther’s authoritarian regime. Barika offers them the opportunity to join or to die. Grykohm the mind master answers with a vulgar glob of ejected spittle. The mind masters turn Barika against Sqyylarr, but the result is frustratingly ineffective. An effective javelin from an open door shoots Sqyylarr in the buttocks. Airborne Ten swoops in with some divine shielding for Barika and some divine healing for Sqyylarr’s buttocks. Ander scorches around some rays and chain fires the eldritch ballista cannon. Sqyylarr and Barika climb upon a convenient table and pummel the guards from above.

WynkGlarx decides to realize his own heroic story. He leads the mob into feigning ongoing ensorcellment as they march along the tracks turning south along a lava pool where the mined Khyber crystals are fed to a pair of fire elementals, Flarion and Pyre, to undergo conversion to flat Khyber tiles. The duergar guard fight spills out into the same processing room just ahead of the mob. Watc thunderwaves a couple of the guards into the lava. Ander casts shatter to aggro Flarion and Pyre along with mob-surrounded fire myrmidon overseer Peydor. Flarion and Pyre abide the pull, but the mob is disinclined to release Peydor, mining him with their pickaxes. Pyre touches Barika with fire. Sqyylarr touches Pyre with Smash. Khariggs and Malbek embiggen themselves for the fight. Ten lays down some divine auras for magic resistance and good health. Ander produces a modest looking decanter that sprays Pyre with a geyser of water that extinguishes him. Sqyylarr fatally smashes Flarion. Barika and Ander hurry to assist the union beating on Peydor.

Watc, watching Amron the stone guard sink into the lava, escapes an unknown attack initiated by King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther who watches from a long hall to the west. Watc takes cover and warns the party. Ten swoops into the hallway to see what is what with this so-called King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther. What Ten finds is a prodigious anti-magic field.

Rodolf and Fistspark interrupt Charlie Company’s breakfast with a new assignment. The Eberron airships previously captured by Charlie in the temple beneath the City of Shade might be serviceable. Ander’s eyes dilate to the size of Khyber dragon shards, which incidentally is the arcane focus material needed to refurbish the airships. Technomancer Fistspark is going to need about thirty of the dark blue or purple, tri-pronged crystals. They occur, as Ander knows well, in the Eberron underdark of Khyber. Hall of doors cartographer Rodolf directs Charlie to the one door he identified and annotated as opening into Khyber.

While traversing the Hall of Doors, Charlie gets a combat function check versus a wandering trio of an animated armor, a goblin, and a hobgoblin. Ander warns that goblinoid lives matter where they are going and attacking them on sight is morally unjustified.

Through the Khyber door, the party finds a small natural cavern worked into an apparent mine, if the mine car rail tracks are any indication. A rubble pile of loose dirt stymies the doughy group until Sqyylarr pushes the pile aside revealing a mine rail track passage running north, toward another pile of earth beyond which they hear authoritarian shouting, and south, toward some malcontent murmuring. Propaganda posters strewn along the tracks praise King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther and his high expectations for an endless supply of slaves. Indignant Ash flips from crystal collecting mode into downtrodden liberation mode.

The party follows south toward the audible debate in progress. Around a corner they find dolgrim cart pusher WynkGlarx halfheartedly attempting to dig his way to freedom. WynkGlarx’s other half heart loves King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther with all his half heart. Smooth talking Sqyylarr persuades WynkGlarx that together they will liberate the dolgrim and duergar workers to unionize against the animated armor overseers of King Bi’hig Bruhu’ther. The rousing speech snaps WynkGlarx out of his half bewitchment.

Ten, wreathed in shadow and ready for some shillelagh powered overseer womping, quietly chants WynkGlarx on. Ash delays the inevitable mayhem with pass without trace allowing the party to surreptitiously enter a greater cavern to the north where a flaming animated armor overseer supervises several duergar diggers and dolgrim pushers. A mine car full of Khyber dragon shards is parked enticingly next to him. Sqyylarr recruits more malcontents as word of the imminent insurrection spreads among the laborers. Watc defaces a propaganda poster. Ander’s cloak billows nobly as he catapults a rock over the head of overseer Josef.

The insubordinate workers file past their overseer using their shard mining picks as war picks. Overseer Josef slays duergar digger Thybek with his scimitar. Ten revives Thybek with a goodberry while Sqyylarr avenges Thybek by slaying Josef. No one give Josef any goodberries. The glorious party of workers marches on into the next cavern gathering new recruits along the way thanks to WynkGlarx’s unexpected cha.

After making a mockery of Minandrinal’s justice system by getting April falsely convicted of her husband’s murder and then extradited to Quietreach where Vageiros’s journal, safely tucked in Andrakis’s robes, will exonerate her, Delta Company crashes out at the Drunken Darling Inn. Ivor wards the door against evil in perpetuity.

Rested and accomplished, the party heads west to leave town and fortuitously comes upon a lizardfolk chastising her pig brother. They need some help from any available, nearby, accomplished adventurers. Sister Rushru explains that brother Gortu was not always a pig. Gortu is, or was, an accomplished lizardfolk bard who chanced upon a Legend of Zalfindia pamphlet that promised blessings on those who would sing the praises of frogs in her fey temple. Gortu adventured with protective Rushru, who would characterize herself as a fighter if people even had discrete classes, up a mountain path of pools to learn the magic song of the frogs. Once they located the pool of magic frog singing, Gortu took notes while inattentive Rushru wandered around. Then Gortu somehow got himself turned into a pig. To learn any more about it, they will either need to gather Gortu’s journal pages, scattered along the path by their hasty retreat, or learn what oink-oink-oink translates to. Gamble tries a quick song of dispel magic while Max closely observes Rushru for signs of fey trickery. It seems there will be no trivial resolution to this task and no chance of leaving Rushru and pig Gortu behind for the trek back to Zalfindia to appeal for a porcine reversal. Anyway, the potential of learning a magic frog song is not lost on bard Gamble.

The augmented party travels west then north to the entrance of the path, a cave-like enclosure of steep rock fissures that nearly meet far above. Gamble starts a little flamenco counter curse tune to ward any further pig turning. From Rushru’s description of Zalfindia, killing frogs here is definitely not on the agenda so Max puts his weapons away. Ivor, always ready for trouble at any time, immediately finds a trouble with a swarm of insects lurking in some shrubbery where he retrieves a page dropped from Gortu’s journal. The swarm is dispatched by Gamble’s rad eldritch riff and Andrakis’s firebolt. The note reveals Gortu’s desire for fame and warns of animals along the path, frog and not frog.

Max pushes through the shrubbery looking for other pages and finds the insect-stripped remains of an explorer, his antique railgun dropped nearby. A chest with a rusty lock, easily defeated by Gamble, contains a lucrative 23 gold pieces. Tambourine finds the book of the Legend of Zalfindia. Zalfindia’s bliss is her “singing jeepers peepers” frogs. Messing with them means inviting punishment, perhaps an inconvenient polymorph for example. Conversely, praising them from the three blessing pools or a fourth frolic pool might earn a blessing.

Tanagra rounds a corner and finds the first blessing pool but also an off-putting death dog nest. Ivor shouts a warning back to the malingering shrubbery looters that the bogies are permanently biting away bits of Tanagra and Tambourine. Tanagra greatswords one death dog, Tambourine morningstars the other, and they are defeated with ranged assists from firebolting Andrakis, eldritch riffing Gamble, and sacred flaming Ivor.

With the death dogs dead, the party is free to wade into the pool and sing for a blessing. They are joined by Rushru and pig Gortu, but unjoined by cleric Ivor and Paladin Max. The song summons Zalfindia who rises from the water. Any hope for blessing is dashed when she notices frog thief pig Gortu. The good news for Gortu is that, as a chicken, he will not have to endure being a pig any longer. Amused Zalfindia departs the pool. Irritated Gamble questions Rushru about this stolen frog allegation, but she does not know any more about it than he does. Tambourine would rather fly over the pool than in it.

For Tanagra there is no blessing better than finding a worthy foe. While Andrakis checks an alcove to the north, Tanagra rounds the corner going east and south again and finds a cute, but giant, lizard. The lizard reckons fairy Tambourine for a nice, juicy bug and tries to eat her. Ivor’s death tolls, Gamble’s eldritch riff, Andrakis’s returning shadow blade, and Tanagra’s greatsword fell the hangry lizard.

Tambourine locates another journal page next to a boulder that reveals Gortu’s specific interest in the magic frog song: it charms and attracts the crowd necessary for fame.

Tambourine’s note reading is short-lived as the boulder conceals a second giant lizard who also finds her delicious. The party reprises the lizard beating and takes a well-deserved short rest. Gamble and Max collect some coin purses invariably dropped by less successful adventurers.

Gamble leads the party onward to the second blessing pool. This one has giant frogs. Ivor encourages the frogs to be cool, but they attack Andrakis and uncoolly spit poison at Ivor. Gamble strikes up a soothing tune which placates the frogs. Max and Ivor excuse themselves to observe some rats eating out of moldy crates while the others gather for some more pool singing. Zalfindia rises from the water, spots chicken Gortu, and now he is a rabbit. That seems like a step up from chicken, although Rushru does have to snatch him up by the ears to stop him from drowning.

Ivor tries to shoo the rats, but the shoo is on the other foot because they are giant in both size and confidence. Ivor tosses out some rations to keep them occupied while the party goes by. A poisonous snake strikes at Max from under a boulder. Gamble strikes back with a fatal eldritch riff. Gamble gathers the party in song at the third pool. This time he proposes leaving Gortu out. Rushru reminds Gamble that Gortu is kind of the point of seeking a blessing, but sure. Whatever. Zalfindia returns, disappointed to not see rabbit Gortu. Oh, wait, there he is. Now he is a jeeper peeper too! Gamble appeals on Gortu’s behalf, contrite and ready to make amends. Zalfindia gleefully suggests they read the notes and learn to croak! Hopefully, that means croak like a frog.

Max and Ivor branch off to examine a little cave to avoid the fey singing and discover something only slightly less desirable: bones of animals that have not only been broken but also scorched. In fact, the air is convective and hot. Ivor glimpses a journal page riding an updraft out the other end of the cave where Andrakis grabs it. The note reveals where it started to go wrong with greedy, greedy Gortu’s plan to abscond with some of the smaller frogs.

Max traces along some symmetrical, arranged boulders and finds a waiting salamander standing over a hot fissure. Max dodges spear and tail attacks until backup arrives from inspiring and hastened Gamble, death tolling and faith shielded Ivor, mirrored Andrakis, and just regularly brutal Tanagra. Max marshals all the divine favor and smite he can into a longsword hit. The salamander turns on Tanagra who, fortunately cured by Ivor just before her fatal greatsword combo, unleashes a postmortem, avenging heated body attack.

The vanquished salamander must have lacked any bardic aptitude or ambition because at his feet was Gortu’s journal page with the recorded lyrics to the magic frog song.

Max and Gamble find Gortu’s ill-fated picnic site. There are no frogs currently stuffed into his pack, nor are there any frogs hanging out in the frolic pool. Gamble always thinks every problem can be solved with a song, but it is logical that a magic frog song of gathering might bring back the frogs, thereby earning Gortu Zalfindia’s forgiveness. Max and Ivor head back to the hot cave of dead salamander smell, preferable to more singing, but Gamble attempts to coax them into participating. Max, worried about offending Pelor with fey frog-calling incantations, inquires whether Pelor is free for a consult. Pelor allows that the frogs are worth the offense, this time. Gamble leads the party in a round of “ribbit ribbit” and the frogs do return as he anticipated.

Grateful Zalfindia pops in long enough to restore Gortu to his OEM lizardfolk self. She calls it even and departs without any further blessing. Grateful Gortu fetches from the picnic his prized Doss lute, one of a limited run of seven named for the seven bardic colleges, and bestows it to Gamble. The Doss lute requires a little patience to use but can cast a menu of utility spells. Gamble hates to see Gortu without an instrument and offers his own lute in exchange. It does not have a name. It does play music.