Author: Blameless

A short rest turns to a long rest when no kobolds foray into the peaceful chamber of columns. Simon wanders off only if the party doesn’t seek him so, to invite the paradox, they don’t.

Theren, Allana, and Haerelben return to the kobold’s hostile hostel room where mounds of refuse might obscure desireable treasures, like a decayed apple or several enormous bear traps. Besides these delights, Allana also identifies a Decanter of Endless Water found by Theren, which she confiscates when he won’t stop saying, “Geyser,” and she finds a deck of cards she later identifies as a 27 card Deck of Illusions.

Theridan explores other doors, listening for more kobolds and related unpleasantries. He finds a room with three round fountain-like basins, each a distinct shade of darkvision grey that might be, from left to right, blue, green, red. Farther down the hallway he finds a narrow room with elven statues at either end, one seemingly a flying elf and the other an atypically broad and rugged elf, perhaps representative of bygone species. Between the statues a table displays a symbol he does not recognize.

Meega lingers to inspect the fountains, mostly because the room is halfway between Allana walking through bear traps and Theridan poking around doors. She suspects the liquid in the pools may not be water at all.

Theren interrupts Meega’s investigations by opening a needle-trapped door into the fountain room from another direction. Undeterred by the poison, he walks over to the right-most fountain and scoops out a red globe that releases a spreading gas. From Haerelben’s perspective, the gas appears to emit from the globe so he attempts to knock it away from Theren. Theridan throws a clay pot over the gas, slowing it down, while everyone evacuates the room, closing the doors behind them.

Theren attempts to pick the locked door of a small central room and gets dosed by another needle trap. Triggering the trap again, he makes a second attempt and this time opens the door successfully. Poison coursing through his brain, Theren finds a rotting flesh heap that he’s certain is a putrid zombie beholder about to un-die. Allana steps in to rebut the whole zombie beholder theory but flees the room when three larvae drop an attack on her from above. She gathers herself together, holds her breath, steps in again to eldritch blast a maggot, and hurries back out. Theren takes a second look and decides maybe Allana is right, this seems like a dead roper and its brood instead of a zombie beholder. With Theren’s interest waning, Haerelben exchanges shrugs with Allana and carefully closes the door leaving the needle trap armed for the next guy, which incidentally will be Theren again.

Theridan prepares the next room, disarming the trapped door before Theren picks open the lock and throws wide the door revealing the kobolds’ loot room of semi-precious statuettes, coins, and sundry other less interesting treasures. As Theridan inspects the statuettes of ancient, possibly mythical, elves, something back in the gas room begins slamming loudly into the doors. Unflappable Theren approaches one of two treasure chests, declares that if it is a mimic it has to tell him, reaches to open it, and is singed by a fireball trap. He disables the trap using a conductive bolt, picks the lock, and finds four stoppered bottles inside. Meanwhile, the persistent battering of the gas room encourages everyone else to get some distance from the presumed monster trying to escape the gas-filled room, not to mention the gas that will flood out when it eventually succeeds.

Down the hallway, Theridan and Allana work on the next door. Nothing can be heard from the other side and no trap is detected, but the door has no conventional means to open it. Allana reckons access may have to do with two little alcoves on the opposite side of the hallway where little tables, possibly for the placement of the statuettes found earlier, are suspended above braziers. One alcove features moon symbology, the other sun symbology, so it’s back to the loot room to collect up the statuette “keys”, now that whatever was trapped in the gas room has stopping beating against the doors.

Haerelben re-enters the loot room just in time to see Theren attempt to loot the second treasure chest, in fact a mimic that grapples him. Theren, Meega, and Theridan eventually subdue the mimic and Haerelben cures the wounds of Sehanine’s imperiled servant Theren once more. Four potions and about ten statuettes are collected.

Eventually the correct permutation of statuette placement and fires below them in the alcoves opens the mystery doors, a feat apparently unaccomplished for a long, long time based on the deterioration of what must have been a fantastic terrarium, complete with a large statue of Sehanine holding aloft an ancient symbol of her temple, the same one Theridan and Allana recognize from the table and statue room, as they now discuss. Haerelben, excited by the revelation that they have discovered an ancient Sehanine temple, dashes off to examine the first statue room.

Theren boldly walks into the temple room, triggering a spore puff from a mushroom levitating him uncontrollably. Theridan, staying clear of the mushrooms, shoves Theren toward the statue as Meega brushes near another mushroom and begins to float. Four mushroom men take that opportunity to emerge from the darkness, and the largest, most-in-chargest, inquires “Who … are … you?”

Theren may not be the most diplomatic of the group, but he knows how to charm. “Greetings fungus people of the realm of fungus.”

Somehow, over time, these myconids, the last of the temple guardians, have become custodians of the ancient hidden temple of the Daughter of the Night Skies. Haerelben answers the sovereign’s inquiries of the party’s purpose, not in context of eradicating kobolds or even the imminent war on elemental evil, but as a previously unrevealed personal mission to recover an ancient relic for the Daughter of the Night Skies, a.k.a. Sehanine. Instead, the sovereign indicates the DotNS already has the gift, if Haerelben is worthy.

Haerelben takes a head-scratching while to demonstrate his worthiness, but eventually the sovereign levitates him so he can investigate the groove along the top of the statue’s moonbow that caught his eye. He can see a strip of wood fitted into the groove and realizes it’s the stringless bow depicted in Binrus’s mural.

Haerelben loots the Moonbow from his deity [casting focus, +1 healing, spells with range touch have range 30’, reveals glamours]. Farewells are exchanged with the myconids. Haerelben pockets the statuette keys, resealing the hidden temple.

With unanimous encouragement, Bear Theridan opens the gas room doors to learn the mystery of the earlier ruckus. Inside they discover the kill cloud has dissipated, leaving only an acrid odor and a deceased gelatinous cube that had been lying in wait within the left fountain.

Before returning to Binrus’s green zone, Theren pokes his head into the roper room one last time to bid farewell and the needle trap pokes Theren’s hand one last time.

Haerelben casts a sending to his temple presbyter informing her of the discovery of an ancient Sehanine temple.

After a much needed long rest in Binrus’s refuge, Haerelben sends to Ardak to learn the status of Quastarte after the earlier claims by the Spellguard imposter cultists of a catastrophe. Ardak does not deny, confirm, nor elaborate but warns that Quastarte, which he has left, is unsafe. He directs the party to not return until summoned.

Welby makes his farewells until they meet again at the next air elemental cookout.

The party, with Binrus’s permission, elect to make a quick tour of his facility before continuing to Scarlet Moon Hall. Simon attempts to reconnoiter with Tina, his feline familiar, but can’t see in the darkness of the cave so the party explores the traditional way. Perilously.

Meega pushes against the first of many closed doors but it’s well stuck and she gives up on it after scraping some charisma off her head in the attempt. Allana has charisma to spare so she pushes and pushes until the pressurized door pops open crashing into her, Theren, and Theridan. To take their minds off that pain, the billowing gas cloud formerly pressurizing the room envelopes them. Within the small gas room that caused so much trouble Theridan finds and opens a chest containing a small vial of flying, a bottle of giant strength, an ampule of speed, and a canteen of clairvoyance.

Having explored a scant fifty feet of perilous dungeon, the party returns to Binrus’s mural room for a short rest. The sight of Binrus noshing a whole cow upsets Meega and Allana so the resters relocate to the adjacent chamber where Theren deliberately activates a bolt trap Haerelben ineffectively disarmed earlier.

The explorers descend a flight of stairs into a continuation of the constructed stone dungeon. Around a nearby corner a deep pit across the entire width of the passage halts progress. Haerelben ties himself to Theren with fifty feet of rope and jumps the twenty foot gap where two hiding kobolds meet him on the other side. Simon ties one end of a rope to himself then jumps into the pit, casting featherfall as he does. Theridan snatches the other end but realizes Simon is falling gently and releases the rope when the fifty feet play out. Simon finds spikes and skeletons at the bottom. Theridan misses his jump but transforms into a bear on his way down. The impaled bear reverts back to a mostly unharmed Theridan and enough left over matter to spray Simon with bear guts. Theren ties himself to Meega and jumps over to negotiate with the the kobolds, the ones not just slain by Allana’s eldritch blast. He closes negotiations with a flurry of crossbows and two more kobolds are gone. Meega jumps over the pit throwing two hand axes midair to eliminate the final two kobolds. Theridan transforms back into a bear, Simon gets atop him, and Bear Theridan clambers up the pit. Just as he reaches the top, Meega yanks Allana’s rope while Allana jumps, pushing off Bear Theridan’s emerging head midway. Everyone lands safely on the other side.

While the ropes are sorted out, Theren scouts ahead and prods at a clay pot. Haerelben searches through the personal wealth of the dead kobolds but finds little. As the explorers press forward, Allana and Haerelben can hear a mechanical sound as a triple kobolded ballista swings around the corner ahead. Simon and Haerelben duck to the opposite sides of the tree trunk bolt that careens past and smashes into the other end of the passage. Simon and Allana snap off spells at the kobold ballistarii while Bear Theridan charges up a parallel hallway. More kobolds reinforce the ballista just when Theridan intercepts it and tilts it off the floor. Meega runs up Theridan’s back into the ballista, axes two kobolds, then rolls off the side as Simon’s firebolt ends the last ballistarius and Theridan shoves the upended ballista into the wall. Theren runs up to negotiate terms with the last kobold who has just jammed his dagger into Meega. The kobold never studied primordial, doesn’t understand the offer, and is slain by Theren’s crossbow.

Theridan, half of him in elf form and the other half in human form, spots an oddity about a wall. Meega pushes on the oddity and forces open a hidden door into a grand colonnaded chamber lined with statues. Theridan notes a possible trap in the corridor on the opposite side of the chamber. Allana and Theren examine the humanoid statues, worn by age.

Kobolds appear on the left and toss a couple of glue pots in, sticking Allana to the ground, and a couple more kobolds pop into the opposite hall to sling bullets at Theren. Theridan pursues to the left entangling a few kobolds while Theren works on them with crossbow action. Simon firebolts the glue holding Allana but she starts to catch fire. A wave of kobolds arrive from both directions so Theridan casts a tidal wave right back at them drowning four of them and dousing Allana’s feet. Simon assures her it’s not a problem; he can cast firebolt again.

The last of the kobolds are mopped up and an intense search of the dead ensues. Several pots of glue, alchemical acid, and stink are acquired. Theren disables a whisker trap and finds a room of trash where many kobolds evidently reside. Searching this room will take a while and Meega and Theridan have found more doors to open so the party retreats for a short rest before continuing.

The Knights of the Silver Horn constructed Scarlet Moon Hall in antiquity. Recently, as indicated by the helpful man at Dellmon Ranch, the Rite of the Wicker Giant occupies the keep as part of their druidic program to restore the balance of nature. The party suspects that this group may be involved with the elemental evil, just like the cults at Feathergale, Rivergard, and now Sacred Stone.

Traveling north through the Sumber Hills for the Hall, the weary adventurers halt for the evening at a large, fallen log in a patch of forest. As the party sets up camp, Allana feels a searing pain, hears, “We’re lost,” from the Opeth, and falls unconscious. She does not respond to attempts to wake her, but nor does she seem physically afflicted by any conditions of the appendix. Lacking any remedy, camp is moved a little farther from the path and the night passes somewhat uneventfully.

The next day, Allana awakens and reports the Opeth’s lost cry, but the Opeth, codename “Jerry”, still hangs from a chain around Allana’s neck so lost may be metaphysical. Theren checks on Simon, just like he always does first thing in the morning, and finds he alas wandered off in the night.

Theren leads the party tracking Simon through the woods. Haerelben spots three Quastarte Spellguard ahead busily spotting the party in return. Allana parlays with Captain Orin Tremorshield and learns from him of a great catastrophe in Quastarte. The Spellguard General has, not implausibly, sent these three Spellguard to retrieve the adventurers who are heroically useful in any dire situation.

The Captain agrees to help search for Simon, especially since the track leads exactly to his encampment of nine additional Spellguard. A dozen Spellguard force sent to retrieve six adventurers seems slightly less plausible.

Theren loses Simon’s track amidst the bustling Spellguard encampment so Allana inquires of the nearest fellow whether they might have seen an ambling old sorzard pass through. The Spellguarder checks his six most wanted list and indicates that, indeed, he thinks that particular individual is resting right over there in that ruined structure. As the party enters the ruined structure they find no Simon. Plausibility slips off like the gag around the mouth of the bound halfling prisoner triggering his catchphrase, “THEY’RE GOING TO EAT ME!”

Only veterans of the Feathergale Spire eradication campaign recognize Welby, but everyone recognizes that these goons are not Spellguard when they encircle and attack Theren and Allana. Allana mirror images herself and eldritch blasts the goons, throwing them back violently and killing them, but not always in that order. Theridan transforms into a huge snake and constricts his targets. Welby escapes his bonds, spider-climbs the ruin walls, and lobs arrows at Captain Tremorshield. Theren rapidly fires his crossbow, starting with his first mark, the captain, and Meega chops through goons until she also reaches the captain. Haerelben tentatively tosses a thunderstone, gained from Hellenrae’s stash, into a clump of aggressors. The thunderclap is followed by a horn blown by an unseen attacker lurking behind the ruins.

Most of the imposters dogpile Snake Theridan, even causing him acute filth fever. Captain Tremorshield attempts to bull rush Meega only to bounce off her. Welby sneaks an attack from behind and Theren lands a killing bolt on him. Despite the loss of their captain, the remaining soldiers beat Snake Theridan back into elf form. He rejoins the melee with his magic shillelagh. The party continues to eradicate the phony Spellguard until none remain.

Inspection beneath the attackers’ new Spellguard studded armor reveals magical leather flying suits adorned with symbols of the air elemental cult found at Feathergale Spire. A nearby tent contains a shrine with the same symbol of Yan-C-Bin’s followers. Also in the tent is a small backpack stuffed with leather, some leather tubes, and a pull cord which Theren pulls. A balloon inflates pinning him and Meega to the floor. Meega crawls out of the tent but Theren punctures the bladder with his hand crossbow, liberating the air elemental trapped inside. Win-win.

The flying suits are commandeered and Allana excitedly dons one immediately. The bodies are dragged into the ruins as Welby hears hoof thunder about half a minute away. The party slips into the woods where they stealth with Theridan’s help to observe the approaching riders, undoubtedly summoned by the earlier horn blowing.

Six riders arrive moments later: four Spellguard-dressed cultists, a half orc, and their air cultist leader who surveys the battlefield and enters the tent. She casts a windy spell which blows the tent walls and knocks over a couple of her henchmen and a whirling air elemental emerges and takes off in a direction fortunately away from the hiding adventurers. Leader declares this hunter will find those responsible and they follow it.

Welby suggests the group makes an urgent getaway, but Theren is eager to find Simon. Haerelben convinces them to stay and rest an hour in hiding, but that plan is interrupted by an invisible assailant trying to pull Allana’s chain free from her neck or her neck away from her head, whichever happens first. It brutally slams her.

Haerelben cures Allana’s light wounds while Theren, Meega, and Welby strike at what Allana believes is the invisible stalker earlier released by Leader. Theridan, with the copious and persistent encouragement of his team, casts faerie fire across the area, revealing the stalker in advantageously luminous fashion. The visible stalker gives Allana one good parting slam and then flees, hounded by sacred flame and a hail of thorns and a pair of hand axes that got pretty close. Welby makes an excellent critical strike and Theridan produces some flame. The visible stalker unexpectedly reverses direction allowing Meega to smack it once more as it returns to yank Allana’s and drag her, hanging, upward. Theren places the fatal crossbow bolt that disperses the stalker and gravity returns Allana to the party. Discouraged from hanging around any longer, they pick up Simon’s trail and set off after him again.

Simon is tracked to the entrance of a cave where the group finally gets its short rest. Refreshed, Haerelben follows the left wall carrying a torch for Welby while Welby looks for traps. Theren loses Simon’s trail because of the notable lack of dust as they find themselves in a carved stone chamber. Haerelben casts a spell to locate Simon’s monocle which leads them to a narrow hallway where Welby finds and disarms a trip wire. Welby scouts ahead as the hallway opens into a round chamber decorated with a vivid mural enhanced by sculpted texturing in the curved stone walls. Welby spies a prone Simon, but his sense of success is attenuated by the presence of a stone giant. Welby returns to report the good news.

Allana recalls some knowledge of Giant sociology, in that they have a fairly complex and advanced history of civilization beyond their reputation for clubbing everyone they meet. The party convenes to elect Allana for the making of friendly introductions while everyone else hangs back to either trickle in or run away as the situation necessitates. As Allana enters, Simon appears in the entrance and boisterously greets them, “Hai, guys!”

Binrus’s artistic aptitude excels even his friendly nature. His prosthetic orange eye, fetched from a cluster at the the bottom of a well in the center of the chamber, gives him vivid visions which he transfers to the mural masterpiece. The apocalyptic scene depicts, on one side, a bear with crystal orange claws, a half orc with a crystal orange axe, a moon elf with a crystal orange shield wielding an unstrung bow, a wood elf with a crystal orange crossbow loaded with a crystal orange bolt, and a half elf with a crystal orange monocle. Allies depicted nearby include a muscular half dwarf paladin of the Raven Queen accompanied by a cadre. On the opposite side of the mural, physically and metaphysically, the evil eye is accompanied by a Medusa-like figure, a giant single-crab-clawed figure, a Tiefling female with long black hair, and a winged figure. The elemental fire, air, water, and earth are represented.  

In accordance with Binrus’s vision, Allana offers to remove the remaining crystals but Binrus corrects her interpretation: the vision foretells his destiny to fashion equipment for the adventurers with delivery scheduled in two moon cycles. Meanwhile, Binrus gives permission for the party to rest in his home, but only if they promise not to stay long or eat all his kobolds.

“Safely” back in Renwick’s quarters, preparations for a much-needed long rest are interrupted by an assault on the door where the scuffle with Hellenrae broke up a short while ago. Renwick enters from the opposite direction sporting eveningwear from his paladin collection. He invites the party to withdraw to his basement safe room and magically bolsters the door. Familiar with the lich’s modus operandi of kill clouding doorways, the party avails itself of his invitation and descends some steps down to a bronze plated door, slightly ajar.

Simon enters the basement and finds himself assailed by the sight, smell, and moans of six meandering zombies. Seven sarcophagi line the walls. Sidestepping shuffling zombies he heads for a stone door at the west end of the room.

Haerelben follows Simon into the basement but his attention turns to the elaborate sarcophagus at the east end of the room. The relief of a knight with a long beard adorns the open top. The chamber, helpfully inscribed Samular Caradoon, appears unused rather than recently vacated, the preferred condition of any empty burial chamber. Party members from Summit Hall recall that a tomb for Samular Caradoon already exists there, hence the corny old riddle, “Who is buried in Samular’s tomb?”

Meega takes up position in the center of the room and prepares to slashingly respond in whichever direction crisis befalls them, as typically happens when the party splits up and begins poking at everything.

Theren dashes past expeditious Simon to the west door where they hear growling beyond. Simon pushes on the stone door and, from Theren’s perspective, his old man feet slide back across the floor. Simon, an early adopter of general relativity, observes he has managed to push the entire universe away from his stationary feet. Impressive, but the door remains shut.

Theridan inspects a zombie. What may have once been a monk is now an utterly rotted standard zombie specimen.

Allana inquires from the Opeth what she’s looking for. Stranger than that question is the answer, that sister brother sister brother is crying. Allana listens for the crying but hears only zombic shuffling so she closes the bronze door causing a thrum of magic to surge through the room.

Meega slips around the brownian zombies and, with Sehanine’s guidance, opens Simon’s stone door. Simon and Theren glide down a forty foot hallway where Theren unsurprisingly hears growling beyond the opposite locked iron plated door as well. Back in the zombie room, Theridan listens at another door and hears footfalls.

Allana, attempting to parse the Opeth’s adjuration, shoves open a sarcophagus with Haerelben’s assistance. Inside are the remains of a monk featuring a holy symbol from an ancient order of a lesser Faerûn deity and wearing an unmagical ring. Meega and Theridan examine a different sarcophagus and similarly find a monk’s remains but little else.

Down the hallway of growling, Simon and Theren decide they are ready to meet whatever growls beyond this door. Theren runs back to entreat Meega’s help while Simon waits. Waiting takes too long so Simon easily picks the lock and opens the door. The room beyond prominently features a cage along one entire side containing an aberrant insectoid monstrosity with missing eyes and metal artificial claws. A great stone column surrounded by clay pots sets in the center of a square section of red earthen floor in this room. Simon heads for stairs that lead up on his left, but as he approaches they fold into a slide and the cage door opens releasing the umber hulk. Laughter rings out from the top of the stairs, but it’s probably unrelated since there’s nothing funny about this situation.

Theren and Simon engage with the monster until Theridan, in bear form, and Meega can step in giving Theren the opportunity for one of his quality battlecries: “You’ll have to go through MEE…ga!” Meega, so completely excited to find a giant to hit with Giant Slayer, mistimes her swing and pulls her choppus maximus giving her the fighting potential of a slightly lesser fighter. Even so, she gets her licks in along with Bear Theridan and the three Watchful Knights while Simon freeze rays and Theren crossbows from a prudent distance. Theridan’s Knight gets the killing blow but he doesn’t speak so can’t brag insufferably.

Allana, closing in on the Opeth’s pleas to “Free him! Free her!” investigates the column and clay pots and discovers the column actually comprises two large stacked stones trickling liquid from the resulting seam into the clay pots that are half-full and half-empty. “She’s there!” says Opeth. Simon makes his own culinary investigation of the crystal-orange liquid slowly filling the pots. The Opeth thinks that’s pretty gross but Simon doesn’t hate it so he proceeds to quaff the sacred tears. To him, it tastes like an enormous eyeball in the wall staring at, and then attacking, him with a slight mineral aftertaste.

Allana hears, “Free me, I’m in the stone,” and requests help to separate the column pieces. Several attempts are made to topple the upper stone with might and magic. “Gasp! We’re being watched,” she hears next. Meega’s crowbar breaks so pitons and rope are brought to bear on the problem.

When Simon begins to feel ill and holds up a petrified hand, the situation turns urgent. He’s quickly petrified and loses concentration on the spell he had been using to shrink the top stone. Theren picks Rock Simon up and carries him out to the zombie room for safekeeping. Haerelben, while attempting to determine any magical properties of the column, gets the sense that the wall behind the column might be an arcane source. Identification of the wall reveals profound evil, but nothing that answers Haerelben’s warm abyssal greetings. Theren declares war on the evil wall in primordial and the giant eye emerging in the wall answers his declaration, “It’s already war.” Theren sends a couple of hip shot bolts into the eye but the bolts dissolve ineffectively. Uh oh.

With the pressure on, synergy begins to form. Haerelben guides Meega’s strong shove of the top stone while Allana pushes with eldritch blast. It tilts over just enough for Theren to reach into the seam and guide out an orange shard which promptly attacks the walleye and both are gone. Speaking of gone, the Watchful Knights dispel in the magical burst why not.

Allana conversates with the Opeth and directs the pots of tears be removed. Haerelben has no way to reverse Simon’s petrification so it seems Renwick is due for another imposition. It’s déjà vu all over again as Theren picks at the bronze door lock and Renwick answers immediately. No gas cloud this time, but Renwick does get cross at the sight of Rock Simon and softens only when Allana presents him with one pot of tears, a potentially valuable resource in his pursuit for mortality. He knows a little about the Elder Elemental Evil Eye and is not terribly surprised it would be found in his basement since that is just the sort of mischief the cultists get up to.

With Simon back to “normal”, it’s time to rest. The party agrees to camp outside in the valley mostly because of Haerelben’s desperate lobbying to get away from the lich’s undead roommates. Meega and Theren find a suitably hidden corner of the valley, Theridan covers the party’s tracks, and an uneventfully long rest is enjoyed by all. With clear heads and good health, the discussion turns to the next move. Theren suggests the Scarlet Moon Hall and Haerelben auguries weal results from Sehanine.

Renwick Caradoon pauses briefly, available to answer any lingering questions, before excusing himself from the adventuresome guests loitering in his phylactery for an hour now.

Simon disguises himself as the Lich of Sacred Stone Monastery, once Renwick leaves of course, and the six investigators depart the green zone into the cultist section of the shared building. Theren enthusiastically throws open the first door he comes to and introduces himself to the four occupants nursing wounds in the cult dojo. From the giant crossbow he’s excitedly leveling at them, these stone masked sparrers recognize immediately that Theren doesn’t belong here. Theren answers their objections with a couple of well-placed crossbow bolts and Purple Monk and Orange Monk experience their final realizations: even the finest unarmed martial artistry is no match for soulless modern technology. Lich Simon excuses the two remaining monks but in their haste to escape the crossbower they blunder into Theridan outside the other door. Theridan gives them room to exit and for this consideration Blue Monk punches him in the dome. A shillelagh magically appears in Theridan’s rapidly approaching fist to mortally smash the insolent monk with an assist from his Watchful Knight. Theren comforts trapped Pink Monk with the promise to end his misery, but Pink protests that he likes his misery as Theren’s crossbow bolt sprouts from his neck ending Pink’s misery.

Meega, unable to squeeze into the adventurer-clogged dojo, wanders further down the corridor to find her own brand of trouble. A demonic stone mask peeks out from a nearby door, momentarily assesses the quarter Orc and her two Helmed Horrors, and quickly retreats back inside, audibly barring the door. Meega can’t quite figure out another way into the locked room, nor can she improvise her hand axe into a lockpick so she paces around glumly to await the inevitable consequence.

Theridan pokes around the corridor listening at doors for activity or alarms while Lich Simon takes up an imposingly visible position should any arriving cultists require discouragement. Theren closely studies the door of the masked peeker and positions himself carefully adjacent to the hinges.

Back in the dojo, Haerelben and Allana don cultist duds. Haerelben stacks the recently deceased in a corner under the sparring mat where they would be found by nobody with fewer than one or two senses. Allana checks out the familiar logo of Black Earth engraved into one wall and, with a bit of searching, locates an alluring missive: Do you like Jurth? Yes, or No? She selects Yes and replaces the card under the mat.

Meega’s waiting ends when six stoned-plated guards come dodging around the corner right up to Lich Simon. Haerelben, adjusting his stone mask, rebukes the guards for threatening their honored guest. Lich Simon warns them that his experiment has gone dangerously awry and stone masked Allana arrives just then to critically declare the experiment has been contained and the soldiers should withdraw. As long as Allana speaks for Hellenrae, the guard detail is delighted to depart.

With the time Simon and Allana purchase, Theren uses the lockpicking lady gloves to pick the lock into the denied room. Inside, Allana locates and loots a chest recovering over 65 pp and 12 leather-wrapped thunderstones.

Across the hall, Theren picks open another room, this one the monastic brandy distillery. His investigation leads him to the conclusion that these are potions of archery, which is lucky for Meega because she is particularly fond of potions of archery when made from 100% brandy. Theren retrieves 20, drops half, and hands over 10 bottles to Meega but then invents the prohibition of brandy and sets about elaborately destroying the 23 remaining bottles.

Theridan explores down some stairs and peeks in to find a basement water well. He doesn’t see much else but much else sees him.

Simon locates a room equipped for the composition and distribution of religious tracts. Among the spiritual advocacy Simon finds the journals of one Marlos Urnrayle which reveal his recovery of a relic called Ironfang, the Holy Implement of Earth Power, from Fane of the Eye. More reading reveals the location of the Temple of Black Earth beneath the Sacred Stone Monastery, precisely the sort of intelligence needed for the war on elemental evil. A reference to the Black Geode promises the ever-growing mountain will remake these lands into his image. As a nice bonus, Simon finds scrolls of Dust Devil and Erupting Earth. Theridan returns from the well room to assist Simon and finds an especially entertaining flipbook.

Three Orcs follow Theridan up from the basement. The leader, Jurth, demands the sign of authentication from masked Allana. Having studied the logo in the dojo she forms a triangle with her hands that perfectly satisfies Jurth. He turns to masked Haerelben and likewise demands the sign. Allana mimes the gesture to Haerelben until he imitates her. Jurth’s attention now turns to quarter Orc Meega, his new boss according to Talent Acquisition. That doesn’t sound right to Jurth so he compares metrics, whether his attendants, Drool and Slob, are superior to Meega’s Watchful Knights, for example. Meega concedes the contest and hands Jurth one of her ten rescued bottles of monastic brandy. He bites the top of the bottle off and his cadre returns to the basement to celebrate Jurth’s boardroom victory.

Undoubtedly fed up of guards returning convinced by tales of a Lich experiment gone awry, Hellenrae shows up personally, flanked by a pair of guards. Lich Simon, masked Allana, and masked Haerelben reprise their performance, this time with Meega delivering the good news /bad news that the experiment is contained within the distillery. The sound of a shelf of brandy crashing to the ground as Theren removes its final screw fills Hellenrae’s ears and she orders Meega out immediately. Allana attempts to diffuse the situation with some sweet talk, but Hellenrae has none of it and commands her to penance in the slave pen. Haerelben “arrests” Meega and “marches” her to the “slave pen” and the adventurers, Hellenrae in close observance, proceed toward Renwick’s phylactery in what they hope is also the correct direction for the slave pens. Theridan inconspicuously leaves the document room in rat form attended by his Watchful Knight.

As the procession passes the distillery, Haerelben attempts to rouse bonkers Theren therein so he won’t become trapped and alone, but Theren is celebrating the completion of his brandy cleansing task with a dry packet of gravy upon which he begins choking. He falls to the floor on the field of broken glass and crawls to the distillery door. If any upside could be found, it’s that the scene must surely appear to Hellerae like an authentically escaped necromantic experiment gone horribly wrong.

Haerelben, unfamiliar with how monks inflict injury, throws a silence spell into the corridor as the adventurers are routed and then receives a quiet master’s class on martial injury from Hellenrae and her morningstar henchmen. In a moment of lucidity, Theren punctures Hellenrae with some crossbow action while Meega works out some pent up violence on her.

Theridan lights up Guard Red and Guard Blue with some lovely faerie fire making them easier to assail despite which, or maybe because of, Theren is unable to parlay several packets of gravy into any measurable effect. Allana’s critical eldritch blast, Haerelben’s sacred flame, and Simon’s lethal witchbolt slay Guard Blue. Meega’s axe strikes at Guard Red over and over and  Theridan concludes he isn’t as fiery as he could be already, so he throws in some addition flame production on Guard Red.

Whether Hellenrae wants backup forces or perhaps feels she has accomplished enough by chasing the adventurers away, she and Guard Red withdraw down the well room stairs. The adventuring party, having gathered some good information on the Black Earth, are not disposed to press their disadvantage further and retire to the Lich’s area to regroup.

On the way from Rivergard through the Sumber Hills to Stone Monastery, the adventurers, and their three Watchful Knights in watchful attendance, follow a winding gulley path. Without warning or provocation, a boulder crashes upon Theridan’s Knight, less watchful than he should have been. Alerted, Meega’s Knights and Simon step out of the way of the next two boulders. The group can see the origin of the salvo, three Earth Elementals emerging above them from the rocky hillside.

Theridan and Meega charge up the hill with their Knights to engage the elementals and Theridan outs another combatant, Guy Two equipped with stone armor and a morningstar, hiding behind an outcrop. Guy Three and Guy Four, similarly equipped, reveal themselves. Theren, expecting heavy resistance, skirts around the path to get a better view of Guy Two and marks him as quarry. He fires a crossbow bolt using a sharpshooting technique designed to inflict more damage, but the bolt goes sailing over his mark. Simon and Allana send up rays of frost and eldritch blasting from their position on the path while Haerelben sends Sehanine’s blessings to Meega, Theren, and Allana who all seem capable of much quicker attacks these days.

Elemental Three merges into the stony hillside, and Elemental One botches a boulder throw at Allana, pinning Guy Three to the ground. The other ambushers and adventurers converge to melee range and it is Guy Two who gets the worst of it, attacked by Theridan’s Knight, punctured by Theren’s extra effective bolt, and gloriously overkilled by Meega’s axe. Meega’s Knight, Simon, and Haerelben next go to work on Theridan’s focus, Elemental Two, while Allana hexes and blasts Elemental One.

A priestly New Guy wanders down the path from the opposite direction and rudely throws acid on Bear Theridan as he engages Elemental Two. Elemental Two has a choice of targets and foolishly picks on Theridan’s Knight giving an opening for sentinel Theridan to counter attack, and Elemental Two crumbles moments later from Theridan’s continuing ursine attentions. Haerelben passes along Sehanine’s appreciation so that Bear Theridan feels a little healthier. Seeing that Bear Theridan has the hillside situation well in paw, Meega and her Knights turn to engage New Guy and his bodyguard Guy One.

Allana, struck by a boulder from Elemental One, notices aloof Guy Four moving toward Theridan and knocks him back with a taste of eldritch blast. But then Elemental Three re-emerges menacingly next to her and Simon who welcomes him with a firebolt. Allana attempts to shockingly grasp Elemental Three but it takes a couple of tries until she and Haerelben, curing her light wounds, can safely escape his long reach while throwing spell damage back at him. Allana blasts him into pebbles.

Elemental One, finally contrite about accidentally pinning Guy Three, removes the burdensome boulder and chucks it at Bear Theridan, now engaged with Guy Four. Theridan gets bludgeoned back into Elf form momentarily, but regains his bearing and, with an assist from his Knight, kills Guy Four.

While Meega mixes it up with Guy One, New Guy lays down some area magic with earth tremor and a follow up sonic attack against Meega and the Knights. Launching his own sonic attack, Theren screams, “Die!!” at New Guy and caps off Meega’s Knight’s damage with a lethal crossbow bolt. Meega quickly dispatches his demoralized bodyguard Guy One.

Theridan’s Knight, Theren, and Meega’s wrecking crew converge on Elemental One and he crumbles from the focus. Theridan and newly freed Guy Three go to work on each other and Bear Theridan bites his head off.

As the violence crumbles away, the stone armor worn by the Guys crumbles away, and the adventurers’ hopes of using the stone armor for infiltration of the Stone Monastery crumbles away. The Guys are relieved of their stone masks, and Priest New Guy, whom Meega discovers was actually Priestess New Girl, is relieved of her garment and a stone hand, as though from a statue, engraved with the message, “Marlos bestows his blessing upon you and looks forward to seeing you again.”

The resumed trek to the Stone Monastery is interrupted once more so that everyone may fully rest before arrival. Haerelben asks Sehanine to heal the Watchful Knights before resting since they are more watchful than restful. The group members who survived the first visit to Stone Monastery recount their experiences for the new members, and curious Theren sticks his hand into a void of one of the Knights injuring himself and demonstrating the Watchful Knights are not ticklish.

Refreshed, the group discovers a security upgrade at the Stone Monastery: two disagreeable Minotaurs guard the front door and they have been trained to say, “No!” in two languages, close acquaintances of Renwick Caradoon notwithstanding. Desperate to make some kind of inroads, Allana name-drops Marlos which certainly amuses the Minotaurs for some unestablished reason, but the only possible entry through the front door would evidently be over their dead bodies and Haerelben is not bullish on that prospect.

Backing off some distance, Meega gathers looted cloaks and robes to dim the fiery Watchful Knights. The adventurers “sneak” past the guards who respectfully suppress their laughter and wait sportsmanlike before pursuing. The party members use their head start to unsuccessfully hide behind available terrain while the guards close in.

Wishing to avoid gratuitous confrontation with the Minotaurs, Simon produces a six inch length of rope, suitable for stimulating his cat familiar or for creating an extradimensional space six inches off the ground; he does both. The adventurers and their attending Knights climb into the space filling it to its capacity of eight with a little druidic fudging. The guards attempt to enter but the universe forbids it and, after brief contemplation, they depart in existential crisis.

Perceiving no observers, Theridan leads the party to the garden gate. Theren, familiar with his brother Rollen’s fatal disagreement with Simon regarding the best way to break into a lich’s domicile, prepares to cast a silence spell around Simon. Simon tauntingly attempts to jump ahead of Theren along the garden path but becomes entangled in the interposing hedgerow. It’s all fun and games until three shadow creatures ambush the party, attacking and sapping the strength of Simon and Meega. Meega and Theridan each dissipate a shadow. Allana wounds the third and it hides in the hedges, but Simon finds it with his magic missiles. A short rest in the garden reverses the harmful strength effects just as Theridan predicted.

A bit of reconnaissance by Simon’s mouse familiar confirms Renwick Caradoon, the lich of Stone Monastery, is at work in his laboratory. Meega considers her core competencies and passes the medallion of Samular gifted by Ushien Stormbanner off to charismatic Allana who knocks on the door. Renwick yells out for the unsolicited visitors to go away, but at least he is using his words instead of his cloud. Simon mentions the medallion and that piques Renwick’s interest enough that he dematerializes the door and is face-to-face-to-face with Simon and Allana.

The adventurers and Renwick quickly discover a mutual dislike of the cohabiting cultists and begin to build a friendship upon the foundation of that dislike, as so often happens. Renwick relates his tragic backstory wherein he and his brother Samular fought together in Troll War Two and, when Renwick was slain, Samular fed him the necromantic potion that turned him undead.

Moved by Renwick’s plight, Simon offers to help. Renwick seeks only to restore himself to life, and Simon and company are not powerful enough to help, not yet at least. However, if they could clear the building of the cultists then Renwick would agree to keep them out in perpetuity. Further, Renwick offers several valuable magic items to help with the task:

Amulet of Health [CON to 19, DMG 150]
Potion of Greater Healing [4d4+4, DMG 187]
Potion of Hill Giant Strength [STR to 20 for 1 hour, DMG 187]
Scroll of Invisibility [reference PHB 254]
Scroll of Snilloc’s Snowball Swarm [reference EE companion p. 22]

Most importantly, Renwick offers the party safe haven in his lab giving them inside access to the building and time to plan.

The victorious adventurers search the chapel for evidence of involvement with the Crushing Wave elemental cult. Drosnin possessed a quarterstaff with a specific type of double dagger footnoted knock spell imbuing the mounted conch. She also carried a letter from Shoalar Quanderil expressing his appreciation for her enthusiastic talents for which he appoints her to Rivergard, obviously a choice assignment. Shoalar will use the River Maid, currently anchored at the keep, to bring in initiates. Drosnin’s diary invokes Olhydra, Princess of the Water worshipped by pirates and by druids alike, and reveals reservations about Jolliver’s leadership despite Gar’s confidence in him. The adventurers stash the three bodies into the sleeping palettes to cover the carnage and lock the chapel doors on their way out.

The likeliest locations for a secret elemental water temple would either be the harbor cave observed upon arrival or the scented trail discovered by Cat Simon disappearing at the wall behind Jolliver’s great hall desk. The River Maid, docked in the keep, likely contains interesting information, but the chapel violence might limit available time. Lunch presents an opportunity to get close to the suspected hidden door in the great hall.

At the great hall, Theren sees a beaten servant lying on the floor and starts for him, drawing bellicose warnings from Grimjaw. Haerelben seats himself with a couple of the reavers at the dining table and, when Jolliver departs, begins an unsubtle conversation about the chapel services. The tension escalates predictably so Haerelben uses suggestion to attempt to calm the reavers and extract the location of the secret temple. The enthralled reaver stalls the suggestion but reveals that Grimjaw and Reesh, the harbor chain operator, have keys to the temple. The unenthralled reaver’s protests attract Urshnora’s attention away from Theren’s meddling and force Haerelben to move the suggestion to Urshnora to calm the reavers down and have them escort the party to the secret temple. The reavers stubbornly resist Urshnora’s directives despite Allana’s persuasions, but do at least confirm the existence and location of a secret door before the situation turns irretrievably violent.

As the fighting erupts, Theren produces Drosnin’s staff and taps it to the indicated section of wall, revealing nothing except incorrect assumptions. Haerelben conveys Sehanine’s blessing on the next ten brutal works of Meega, Theren, and Theridan, and they oblige. Theridan shapes to a brown bear and, not to be outdone, Urshnora shapes to a water serpent. Theren, Meega, and Theridan go to work on the reavers while Haerelben steps to Urshnora and Allana blasts eldritch at her. Simon camps the corner of the room spraying magic missiles all around, possibly unable to shut the wand off. The situation seems contained until a wereboar sails from the balcony overhead and lands on the dining table, lunging at Meega who ducks aside. Wereboar deftly avoids Theren’s ensnaring vine, but cannot avoid his taunting, “This bacon too crispy, so mad!”

Meega pours injury on top of insult with a distracting strike and a surge of damage, stirring the buried axe around in Wereboar’s vital organs while his view suddenly fills with Bear Theridan. Allana hexaciously blasts his bacon. Wereboar claws Bear Theridan but clumsily gives Meega an opening for riposte. Fickle Wereboar no longer desires to be center of attention and makes a break for the exit, learning too late that Bear Theridan has lately become a devoted student of sentinel fighting; a bear claw through Wereboar’s hoof pins him to the floor allowing Meega to place a critical axe blow on him. Theridan reverts to elf form to shillelagh Wereboar in the dome and Allana blasts him back to the form of the deceased human Jolliver Grimjaw. A dedicated but misguided initiate, watching Grimjaw’s demise from the kitchen door, charges out ineffectively swinging a frying pan until Theridan grapples him.

Meega mops up Urshnora while a second initiate runs screaming from the hall. Allana blasts the running initiate into a torso heap and Simon prestidigitates the heap into a nice bush. No amount of verbal persuasion silences the screamer so Meega lets her axe convince him. The commoting initiates have attracted the inquiry of a parapet guard whom Allana assures that there was a slight weapons malfunction but everything’s perfectly all right now and everyone is fine.

Theren and Meega head upstairs where Theren rifles through Urshnora’s entire book collection before he goes for her locked chest. Meega has found Grimjaw’s quarters with several personal treasure chests, pausing only long enough to demolish the suspicious guard unconvinced by Allana earlier. Theren and Meega liberate a couple of scrolls, several valuable gems, silver pieces, and some detestable electrum pieces. Theridan and Allana scan through the kitchen and servants’ quarters back on the main floor but find no treasure chests at all. Haerelben stabilizes Grimjaw in case questions need answers and then locates the secret door and unlocks it with his hand. The unconscious servant, Bob, is revived and retrieves his sister, Lucy, from the kitchen. Bob Bird and Lucy Narene Flurffiffurqiffqurq have been enslaved by the Crushing Wave and seek rescue. They confirm the regular use of the secret door by Drosnin and Grimjaw and others. When Lucy learns that Grimjaw is merely unconscious she goes medieval on his skull with a frying pan.

Theridan has a quick look down the staircase beyond the secret door and finds a subterranean waterway with a couple of ready boats. To the east, daylight reveals the keep’s sheltered harbor. To the west, darkness likely conceals the secret elemental Crushing Wave temple. Consensus is that sufficient evidence has been gathered for Ardak’s purposes and, besides which, the group could face no more danger without some time to rest. Theren and Theridan, concerned about the unrealized hydronic capabilities of the Crushing Wave, make a convincing case for exiting through the gatehouse rather than attempt a river escape.

After an uneventful stroll to the gatehouse, it is discovered that the inside portcullis is down preventing egress. Simon, Allana, Bob, and Lucy wait outside while the others enter the adjacent gate tower where they encounter three guards. Haerelben, plum out of real magic, uses the magic of his heart to convince Holger, the sergeant in charge, that Grimjaw has ordered the expulsion of these strangers and Holger needs to raise the portcullis immediately. Holger is hungry, suspicious, and most importantly distracted while Theren unleashes a hail of thorns on the guards. Green surrenders almost as quickly as Orange and Holger perish, raises the portcullis, opens the outer door, and presumably lives happily ever after as the party plus two emerge from the vanquished Rivergard Keep in the afternoon sunshine.

The adventurers head for Summit Hall to drop off Bob and Lucy and soon hear the approach of three horsemen. Theridan casts pass without a trace to conceal the party’s presence, but the riders are recognized as the same Knights of Samular from Ardak’s party so Theridan drops the ruse and the riders are hailed. Dame Ushien Stormbanner, leader of the Knights of Samular, and her associate, Sir Moestyn Van Foedinvensaaaal, a.k.a. Smitty, and Smitty’s assistant Lefty, gladly agree to the group’s request to accompany Bob and Lucy to safety while the party continues on to Mountain Keep, a.k.a. the Sacred Stone Monastery.

Camped for the evening in the Sumber Hills, Haerelben calls first watch. Sometime around midnight he hears movement and a construct emerges from the darkness, briefly surveys the sleeping party, and takes up a position of protection next to Meega. Allana knows from her experience that this is a Helmed Horror, but no one can guess why it has arrived here and no one can engage it verbally or mentally. A second one appears a short time later and likewise takes up a defensive position with Meega. Haerelben examines the constructs for their union label, finds the symbol for Belliard, and concludes that these are the fabled Watchful Knights from the Watchful Knights Inn. He declares that Meega is the safest person in Faerûn and sacks out, as does Meega. When they awake the next morning they find a third Watchful Knight guarding Theridan.

The next day is spent traveling, with Watchful Knights in tow, to the Mountain Keep. Another night of camping yields no more constructs, but a pack of wolves does give a single look at the group and decides to seek easier pickings.

Ardak’s cottage is about to become a nexus for fractured adventuring parties, grieving and avenging relatives, compatriots, and apologists.

Haerelben, cleric of Sehanine, and Theridan, druid, worked together out of Triboar to investigate elemental evil in the Dessarin Valley. A freak methane explosion and subsequent manticore devouring of the other party members find the two convalescing in Ardak’s living room.

Through a second Elven portal step Meega, Barrin, and Simon just returning from the disaster at Sacred Stone Monastery. The two remnants share their experiences and are surprised to learn they have been unknowingly working in parallel to reveal the elemental evil.

A knock at the the door precedes an Elven ranger. He’s from Silverrock, and that’s the truth no matter what his crazy brother Rollen told you. Theren Meliamne is slow to trust and ready to accost anyone who says otherwise. He has been working at Summit Hall, destination of the missing Mirabar delegation.

On Meliamne’s heels follow two paladin knights, Dame Ushien Stormbanner, leader of the Knights of Samular, and her associate, Sir Moestyn Van Foedinvensaaaal. They offer their condolences and an explanation that the terror of Mountain Keep, Renwick Caradoon, was a vaunted member of their own Knights of Samular until tricked into drinking a potion a hundred years ago that turned him into the cranky lich who went on to cloud kill Ardak’s B Team. Aware of his own ironic and mutually exclusive existence as a lich paladin, Renwick labors to reverse the potion’s effects. A medallion of the Knights of Samular, featuring the scales of justice, is given to Meega by the knights to perhaps ease future encounters.

An honor guard of Anvilbacks arrive to mourn Argyle and return his body to Moradin Temple.

Blameless, living in secrecy on the lam for many years, would have been surprised to see his parents arrive, but no impossible task exceeds Ardak’s resourcefulness. The pain of Blameless’s demise is dulled by the knowledge that he found noble work with good friends.

Frug Salvage, of the prestigious Ransom & Salvage disaster recovery enterprise, arrives with his coin-walking cohort Jingles, each wearing goggles and a finely crafted grey coats. They are followed by a cadre of Greycoat operatives bearing three shrouded remains, those of Rollen, Argyle, and Blameless, along with a bag of some recovered possessions. Those present realize there are suddenly three stone tables that were there all along and the bodies are placed upon them.

Ardak retrieves Rollen’s clockwork fish from the bag and hands it to Theren.

****

Theren finds himself in another place and time, remembering a different childhood. Catching his reflection, he discovers he does not appear as himself.
“Why am I not me?”
“Of course you are you, Fledin Milamne. Now go pick those grapes!”
As Fledin, Theren intimately knows the forests and vineyards of his childhood in Thel’Usarin. He recalls how he constructed that clockwork fish and aspired to be a clockmaker, how his mother made the glass encasement for the fish, how he witnessed the terrible fiery conflagration from the sky that destroyed his home and town, how he hid in the forest returning to find only the clockwork fish remaining in the destruction.

****

Theren, holding the clockwork fish, has inexplicably stopped muttering about how crazy his brother was for remembering his childhood 4500 years ago. Next out of the bag is a glass rod, which Ardak holds out as Allana appears on the floor. “You have very strong allies,” intones Ardak. Blameless’s Helm of Defense goes to hornless Haerelben, the Lord of Lance Rock’s Wand of Magic Missiles to Simon, and the Helm of Identify to Allana.

The funeral service begins with a hymn from the Anvilbacks and ends with the departure of the mourners with their individual charges. Theren directs the Spellguard to be responsible for Rollen’s disposition as long as it is far removed from the influence of Quartermaster Schmeck.

The ceremonies concluded, Ardak asks of the reformed party, “Where do we go from here?” One person already knows the answer with certainty; Barrin declares he can’t take this any more and departs with a mic drop. Consensus from the others is that the Sacred Stone Monastery, aka Mountain Keep, and the newly discovered air elemental temple are both too hot to attempt again right away so Rivergard Keep is selected as a reasonable place to begin anew. Simon suggests the folding boat as a convenient conveyance, but Theren must stop giving him the stinkeye if he wants to join. Theren reluctantly accepts Simon’s condition since, as a wood elf, he floats but only downstream.

Days later, the party sails down to Rivergard Keep, a recently repaired fortress on the water. A white banner with blue gauntlett, presumably the sigil of its occupants, flies overhead. Theren knows from his time at Summit Hall that the party may anticipate one Jolliver Grimjaw to be in command of this self-appointed guardian force. Rivergard offers a sheltered anchorage, but a chain cordones entry. Hailed by the chain guard, Allana explains that the boat was attacked by bandits and damaged or something, and certainly we have some money on us. Out of concern for these pigeons, the chain is lowered and the boat docks within the keep where the party is met by three sessy guards, “Welcome to Rivergard, heh heh heh.”

The adventurers are introduced to Jolliver Grimjaw in his combination great hall office and dining room. His desk is piled high with papers. When queried, Simon, the impromptu trade leader, explains that the boat was attacked and damaged by river bandits. Haerelben’s clerical perception upon the stack of papers informs him that the river bandits Grimjaw’s organization claims to combat are its own marauding members. Theridan enticingly details that the stolen cargo is a chest full of magical items and suddenly the group has a place to stay until the boat can be repaired and the crew healed at the reasonable sum of 100 gp for each single replaceable item. Simon accepts some sewer water ale to celebrate the new relationship.

The sessy escorts show the party to their barracks for the evening where they find only two unclaimed bunks. The less-than-ideal situation gets worse when several shifts of two guards are posted to monitor their nocturnal activities. Simon excuses himself to fold up the boat while Theren involves himself in a fisticuffs contest. Meega and Allana and several men and women of the keep turn in while Simon goes to work on the two guards, relating numerous and detailed anecdotes regarding his grandchildren. Despite the relentless attack on their endurance, the guards manage to remain vertically vigilant. Theren advocates for some preemptive defensive violence, but Simon’s cat familiar offers an opportunity to look around non-murderously.

Cat Simon finds the northeast corner chapel where three folks reside under a strangely improvised symbol of an X with adjoined lower limbs. A look at the north tower reveals some Bugbears overseeing a bunch of dead animals. The Great Hall and adjoining balcony are unoccupied and, in Grimjaw’s stack of papers, Cat finds a fresh report of a chest of magical items stolen by a new, unknown rival banditry. There is also a voluminous and detailed account of the actions of Ardak’s B Team. Cat peers through several windows and finds Grimjaw’s quarters are empty. In fact, Grimjaw is nowhere to be seen although a fresh trail of his scent disappears at the wall behind his desk. Cat sees a library with one shelf recently dedicated to some new personal volumes regarding the subject of water, presumably owned by the leaking Genasi bunking there. Cat finds a few rooms of unremarkable purpose: storerooms, guard room, slave quarters, and that kind of thing. In the southwest corner of the keep, Cat locates the land-facing two-story gatehouse barred from the inside. Nothing particularly actionable, elemental-wise, is found unless one happens to think all petty bandits deserve a swift and risky death.

The next morning, Haerelben and Theren walk to the chapel for morning dedication to Sehanine, a slight ruse to gain entry to the only remotely religious site observed by Cat Simon. Arriving, they learn service is already in progress by a Genasi priestess attended by two very ambivalent guardsmen. An exceedingly happy priestess by the name of Drosnin explains, using numerous water-based puns and metaphors, that The Crushing Wave is a growing, waterborne phenomenon on the flow. Haerelben and Theren soak up the gushing for a couple of hours before excusing themselves, citing a prior commitment to Sehanine.

Meanwhile the rest of the group has made their way to the great hall for breakfast and bluster from Grimjaw who, in between beating a servant for bringing sausage to a ham meal and assigning the questionable honorific “Captain Idiot” to Simon, subtly hints that the fellowship have already overstayed their welcome.

Exiting the great hall, the party meet up with Theren and Haerelben and exchange notes. The suspicious religious activity in the chapel leads Simon to hatch a cunning plan to join the Crushing Wave. Drosnin, completely ecstatic when Simon “drinks” the ceremonial bowl of elemental water using minor illusion, becomes convinced that Simon is properly indoctrinated into the Crushing Wave. They plot in stage whisper to sacrifice the other party members except unsuitable Meega. Simon begins fake-tying up the party and confiscating their weapons for the walk to the temple.

Drosnin departs to get some extra guard action while the party slip their bonds and subdue the two chapel guards, one critted out by Theridan and the other pinned to the back of a door through his eye socket by Theren’s crossbow bolt while Meega holds him from leaving. Drosnin returns and, witnessing Simon’s betrayal, casts a sleet storm inside the chapel. Allana commands her to approach to prevent her departure and Theren liquidates her.

Simon steps out of the chapel while the mess inside is rearranged and meets the two summoned guards about to enter. Simon persuades them the job is done, the prisoners have already been removed. Clearly the guards don’t really want to believe him, but are faced with a sufficiently persuasive argument and are forced to leave.

“Rollen,” says Simon enigmatically, “you always get me into trouble.”

Having twice failed to gain the confidence of the gargoyle receptionist, the adventurers elect to make another tour around the perimeter of Stone Monastery, known locally as the Mountain Keep and rumored to be under lich management. Even the more law abiding of the group reluctantly agree that forced entry remains the only option to continue investigating the Black Earth cult. But first, Argyle requests a quick look at the garden statuary around back.

Meega peeks into the garden, since Argyle is too short to do so and Rollen is too tall to do so, and sees not quite a dozen lifelike statues artfully arranged across the neglected garden with well-worn paths woven among them. Simon picks the lock by shrinking the gate, clever as it is noisy.

Intently scrutinizing the statues that will surely spring to life at any moment, it takes some time before Barrin and then Allana notice the pair of elemental gargoyles closing in on the party atop the garden wall. Rollen picks up on Barrin’s subtle cue of frantically pointing right at them and issues fair warning: “Hark! Gargoyles, if you want to harm us you will have to go through Meega first.” Observing the determination in their little stone faces, Argyle puts Moradin’s blessing on Barrin, Meega, and Rollen as they brace for conflict. Simon, lately interested in reading books instead of burning them, manifests a wizard’s kitty cat.

Gargoyle One swoops in to attack Rollen as his notched arrow sparks across its stone skin on one side and Meega’s axe gouges the other. Gargoyle Two rips into Barrin who returns with a flurry of punishment that seems somehow less effective, but does throw the creature off balance enough that he and Allana, throwing a parting critical Eldritch blast over her shoulder, can escape its attention. Meanwhile, Snowflake the cat pads up to One and zaps him with blue and white beams that cause a little bit of frost and confusion while Rollen ducks away, marking him as quarry and takes advantage of Meega’s distraction. Argyle lays some divine healing on Barrin and utters a non-randomized, surprisingly appropriate, dwarven curse backed by the full faith and credit of his mighty hammer swing into Two while a refreshed Barrin runs back in with a well-struck dagger blow. Simon throws a squishy cold hand on One, answering an old riddle regarding the sound of one clapping hand. Rollen, Meega, Simon, and Blameless erode One; Barrin, Allana, and Argyle crumble Two.

Three doors enter the building from the garden. Allana listens at the most eastern and maybe hears footsteps, maybe not. Simon drops a “cat and mouse” pun and rearranges his familiar from feline to muline to sneak in to see what is what, and what he spies with his beady little eyes is a hooded alchemist sprily dashing among tables, scrolls, and potions in a retro split level laboratory. Simon recalls his familiar and announces the coast is clear, reporting that there is just some elder cloud of volatile organic compounds floating around through the first door. Barrin listens at the next door over and hears only the ocean beyond.

Rollen enjoys some fantastic beginner’s luck picking the first lock but realizes an arcane locking spell holds the door closed. Simon, efficiently twinning his “lockpick” spell, opens both doors simultaneously by shrinking them off their hinges. Time stands still as an incomprehensibly powerful killing cloud engulfs Blameless, Argyle, Rollen, Allana, and Meega. Meega manages to stagger away as Barrin and Simon make for the garden exit. The lich paladin appearing momentarily in the doorway does not even look fatigued from this impressive arcane display.

Argyle, Rollen, Allana, and Blameless return to the loving embrace of their individual creators. Meega, Barrin, and Simon sprint over the horizon to fight another day.

As the Ice Shield Orcs retreat over the horizon, Rollen redeploys the archers evenly around the defenses. The second wave, forty strong, crashes from all sides almost immediately, as Kurbin Dellmon predicted. Orcs quickly breach the defenses and wreak havoc in the compound. Arrows, bolts, and magic fill the air but the relentless onslaught falls villager after villager, claiming even Kurbin himself. Again team Dellmon repels the attack with an impressive count of 30 Orc casualties, a victory muted by the forever loss of 3 villagers.

The smell of burning grass interrupts an uneasy reprieve. Lookouts spot an Orc creeping up through the smoky cover to torch the building sheltering the women and children, and the building begins to catch fire. A bucket line forms while Barrin leads the sheltering civilians to another building. A new line of Orcs appears through the haze on the opposite side and the third wave falls upon the ranch. Veteran Argyle implores the defenders to hold the walls and focus on any Orcs that get through.

Meega and Barrin rush to hold the left palisade while Argyle and Simon hold the right. Blameless, now inexplicably a hue of blue, and Allana shift spell targets as needed from the center. A particularly nasty couple of fiery orbs to the left from Blameless reduce a pair of otherwise healthy Orcs to nothingness and a few of their cohorts suddenly remember other appointments and depart. Simon’s witch bolt latches on to a couple of unlucky blokes on the right and lightnings their troubles away. Barrin, wrecking face inside the Orc line, rains a flurry of blows upon three Orcs leaving just one very injured Orc. Allana joins the right palisade and bludgeons Orcs with her magical shillelagh. Rollen calls for reinforcements to the left but his archers’ confidence fails when Rollen’s bowstring snaps from the constant barrage he serves up. Meega ducks around a swung axe that whistles past and buries into the face of the attacker’s adjacent friend. Adding injury to insult, Meega ripostes her own axe into her would-be assailant before he can grieve his error. The brutes surround and overwhelm Barrin but even so they begin to withdraw, and Argyle rescues Barrin.

Another night passes and the ranch awakes to a line of hundreds of Orcs on the horizon. A horn blows from the Orc line and is answered from the other side of the ranch, a duet of doom. Rollen recognizes and answers a third horn, a foursome of fortuitousness as the abundant forces of High Forest flank through the Orc armies with complete surprise and win the day.

Once the Orc forces are dashed, a contingent of Elves, answering Dreena’s summons, visit the ranch where Rollen catches up with them on his 4500 year absence. The commander, Lqogqynq of Leafy Bottom, answers what he can and furnishes Rollen with two quivers of arrows. Overhearing the unanswered questions of haunted keeps, a nearby rancher realizes these are questions HE should be asked and jumps in with a little information:

The Knights of the Silver Horn built four keeps to protect the valley, but years of neglect fertilize rumors of haunting. Rivergard Keep lies north along the river in the Sumber Hills and is held by unidentified adventurers. Druids occupy Scarlet Moon Hall, and they are praised for restoring the balance of nature there. Feathergale Spire is (er, was) held by a really nice society of air mount enthusiasts, widely respected for their charitable fundraising for orphans. Finally, according to rumor, a lich commands nearby Mountain Keep. The Vale of Dancing Waters, although not a haunted keep, also features prominently in local lore, but the Besilmer dwarves residing there, the rancher warns, would not welcome uninvited visitors.

Confident in the security of Dellmon Ranch, the adventurers resume their original junket to the Sacred Stone Monastery. They arrive a short time later to find a large stone building with a red tile roof nestled in a hidden natural amphitheater. Stairs lead to three entrances, the central main heavy wooden door and two smaller entrances to the west and the more decrepit east. Hoping to meet someone on the outside to gauge the local monastic receptiveness toward travelers, or to mug for his uniform, the group circles around the building finding a rear garden and servants’ entrance but no monks.

At the main entrance Rollen knocks on the door. A golden mask answers through a sliding slot that they are not an inn and can accept no guests. The slot shuts abruptly.

Simon knocks on the door. The mask again answers through the slot and Simon explains that the air elementalists sent the adventurers to disrupt the monastery but instead they would like to join this fine medley of meditators. The mask runs a quick LexisNexis search on the group and claims they would not be suitable members.

Rollen offers an unbroken arrow, point first, and this time, in addition to the shutting slot, there is the additional uninviting noise of a set door lock.

Rejected, the adventurers retreat to the east door to reevaluate.