Author: Blameless

The party commits to exploring lower into the black earth cult temple in pursuit of Iron Fang. The devastation orb has up to five hours remaining so they concentrate on making progress without much unrelated chit chat. From Marlos Urnrayle’s private chamber, they exit through his escape crack into the chasm and find themselves edging along a narrow ledge that traces a sheer wall fifty feet up to the stalactites and fifty feet down to the cavern floor.

Movement above catches Bromsby’s attention. Two gargoyles swoop down aiming for Meega’s purple mohawk. Meega accepts their challenge and trips one of them mid flight. It falls away from the battle allowing the party to concentrate on the other gargoyle with Lefty getting a killing triple strike that etches it into falling rubble.

The tripped gargoyle collects itself and lands in front of Haerelben, jamming up the party along the ledge. Bromsby becomes a giant bat to circumvent traffic. Theren unleashes heavy crossbow bolts which break up the second gargoyle.

The clastic ruckus is sure to draw attention. Lefty hears voices from the room ahead. Bat Bromsby squeaks three times to indicate the number of cultists alerted to their presence and then flies in a circle to symbolize a proposed course of action. Haerelben begins loudly hammering in a piton by which they can lower themselves into the chasm to avoid the guards. Diligent guard Hugo advances to investigate and is assaulted by waiting Meega and Theren. Lefty leaps off Meega to land behind Hugo. Meega kills Hugo.

A rod-wielding cultist summons a stone hand under Lefty that grasps her and holds her in place. The other guard wales on her with a stone club. Haerelben unwales Lefty’s injuries. Yarsha the rod caster gets impatient with the slow combat and erupts earth under everyone including her own guard, even smashing Bat Bromsby into the ceiling. Theren deploys some psychological warfare by pulling his looted flaming longsword and yelling, Imix! Lefty takes out the second guard and nimbly escapes both erupted earth and disembodied hand to charge at Yarsha. Bat Bromsby swoops and lands as transformed svirfneblin Bromsby. He makes his own earth eruption at Yarsha. Yarsha jumps across a bed next to Bromsby, swinging at him with her magic rod, and flees the room.

Yarsha is quickly surrounded by the adventurers and yields. She senses an opportunity for aligned objectives and, under zone of truth, offers to escort the party to Urnrayle down in the Black Geode or Fane of the Eye if they will help with her ambitious vocational ascent by whacking Miraj Vizann, second in command of the Black Earth cult. Yarsha figures Urnrayle will easily kill the party anyway. Bromsby confiscates Yarsha’s rod, six obsidian chips, a potion of waterbreathing, and some coin.

Haerelben and Theren don the newly available guardsmen stone armors. Yarsha guides the party through the temple avoiding any witnesses. They pass the same stone statue from their first day in the temple and Yarsha makes a quick genuflection to the apparent likeness of Ogremoch. They arrive at a remote section of the chasm that offers some unfallen pillars to help break up the jump across.

Theren and Meega cross the chasm easily and take a rope end anchored by Haerelben on the near side. Agile Lefty walks the rope successfully on the first section but then falls right off into the chasm. She uses shadow step to mitigate the fall. Bromsby makes it over with only a little trouble then transforms into a giant bat to lift Lefty safely out of the chasm. Yarsha makes it over easily on her own and proposes leaving the stragglers behind. Haerelben makes a poor jump and swings by the tether into the pillar. Meega drags him across, one painful pillar at a time.

Yarsha brings the party to a hallway from the main temple entrance. They must sneak into a side room where Miraj works without being seen by the guards at the entrance. Yarsha herself is spotted, but of course she belongs here. Meega, caught in the open hallway, ducks behind Yarsha. Purple mohawks are out of place in the black earth cult.

The door into Miraj’s workshop features the carved image of a dwarf with fists of spiked clubs. Theren flashes the earth cult triangle, but the carving remains passive and ambivalent. Theren enters the workshop and finds Miraj standing in a mud pit. Stone masked Theren reports that Helldorm has summoned Miraj to the torture chamber. It sounds important. Miraj is irritated at the summons and at Helldorm’s methods in general. Haerelben has no idea what Theren’s angle is, but as the other disguised guard it seems appropriate for him to stand next to Theren and nod supportively. Miraj seems to draw insight from his mud puddle and divines Yarsha’s presence and intent. He suggests the party may be operating under some faulty assumptions. Theren is careful to keep open the possibility of a better offer. Yarsha balks at the burgeoning betrayal of their already arranged contractual conniving, but the issue becomes moot when Miraj, with a whistle, animates a golem from the array of large statues lining the room. Theren puts a crossbow bolt into Miraj.

The rest of the party rushes in to engage the golem. Bromsby begins to smash the surrounding statues with Iron Oath before they can be animated. Miraj erects a magic wall to protect himself. Haerelben squeezes past the golem to the magical wall and puts an arrow into Miraj. Theren breaks his flaming longsword on the golem and, left only with martial weapons ineffective against the golem, heads for Miraj with drawn shortsword. The golem knocks out Yarsha. Meega trips the very strong golem giving Lefty some great prone shots at it. Miraj magically suggests that Haerelben should protect him instead of hurting him. Bromsby doesn’t like the sound of that suggestion and dispels it in between breaking the statues.

Haerelben repairs his own injuries from Miraj’s withdrawing earth eruption. Theren buckets damage on Miraj and kills him. Meega and Lefty continue to team the golem and it hangs on by a thread after Meega chops a hand off. Haerelben tries to steal their glory with a longbow shot. Theren joins the fun and hucks two acid vials at the fading golem. Meega finishes the golem.

Yarsha regains consciousness as second in charge of the black earth temple and rightful heir to the mud pit. Bromsby beats Yarsha to the contents of Miraj’s wooden chest where he finds black crystals, alchemical ingredients, and plenty of coin.

After a short rest to dress wounds and to repair all of Theren’s broken weaponry, only four hours remain until the bag of holding a devastation orb can be “safely” checked.

The earthquake destruction orb sitting in the middle of Red Larch has up to eighteen hours before activation. Even if the plan is to transport the orb someplace safe, the bag of holding might prevent, or at least minimize the damage.

Theren carefully begins removing, itemizing, and arranging on the road all the party’s accumulated treasures. His loaded crossbow keeps at bay any would-be looters from the liberated onlookers lining the road.

Theren is nominated for placing the devastation orb into the bag of holding. He employs a new critical thinking philosophy, LOGIC (Loads Of Good Ideas Constantly), and begins to disassemble the orb’s lattice container. The others, including a few townies, gasp at his audaciousness. Theren adjusts his LOGIC and carefully places the intact assembly into the coat’s bag of holding and closes the opening. Haerelben accepts the coat from Theren and straps it on tightly.

The party takes a short break to decompress. The townies take this opportunity to register their discontent at having Red Larch brutalized on account of the party’s destructive foray into the Black Earth temple.

Meega and Bromsby have a solemn discussion with Vallivoe’s kids about their future. Now that Vallivoe has been juiced, Red Larch offers negligible potential for their futures. Meega hits on an idea: her parents, empty nesters now, have always wanted seven scrappy kids to look after. Would Vallivoe’s kids like to go live with Wayvoran-Chero and Cherry-Zo, Meega’s parents? The bunk beds win them over.

Lefty goes to look for William the Stable Boy at the Swinging Sword, but she can’t find him anywhere. Best not to think about that. She does find the party’s cart intact, suitable for carrying the former contents of Theren’s coat pocket and seven weary orphans. There are no horses in the stable, but Bromsby helps yoke a nearby cow. The cow is nominally qualified, yet entirely unwilling, to work as a draft animal. Meega, both suitable and willing, agrees to pull the cart. Theren loads his treasures and Meega loads her orphans.

Haerelben puts on some stone armor and performs the somatic component to speak with one of the dead monks, jamming his fingers into the monks ears and lifting his head.

Is it ready?
What?
I think you’re an imposter! Red Stone …
Fang!

Haerelben drops the monk’s head back on the road with a sickening crack. Maybe knowing the cult countersign will save them a fight someday.

The party, the orphans, the pocketed devastation orb, and the laden cart leave Red Larch for the Lance Rock elf gate. Meega, Theren, and Lefty take the orphans and the treasures through to Ardak’s cottage for the night while Haerelben and Bromsby camp at Lance Rock so as not to endanger Quastarte any more than usual.

The orphans have a romping good time scattering to explore the house’s rooms, closets, nooks, and crannies. Theren does his best to monitor their sticky fingers, although Theren himself can’t resist exploring a badger drawer or two. The fun is interrupted by a knock on Ardak’s door. It’s Ardalia, summoned by the house when they came through the elf gate. Ardalia seems a little exasperated at the intrusion, but who can resist an orphan wearing a dwarf’s shirt? Kawaii!, Meega observes in orcish.

On the other side of the elf gate, Haerelben divines from Sehanine the likely result of putting a devastation orb into a bag of holding. Sehanine’s executive assistant laconically replies, Putting the orb in should be safe.

Meega writes a note for her parents which Ardalia takes with the orphans. Lefty, Theren, and Meega get a nice rest. Meega gets up early, discovers how to summon ingredients with Ardak’s food pantry, and cooks up her specialty: eggs scrambled with peppers, flatbread strips, and roasted red potatoes. They take hot food through to join Haerelben and Bromsby who had an equally uneventful night.

Bromsby suggests the rested party should attempt to beat the marching black earth army back to the temple by using the spellguard basement elf gate to perhaps catch Urnrayle undefended. This has the added advantage of putting the devastation orb where it will wipe out the earth temple should the bag of holding not contain the mayhem as hoped.

They make it as far as the spellguard provisioning clerk on the ground floor. He’s not in the habit of letting crazy people into the quartermaster stores, but he is in the habit of activating the silent alarm to summon a phalanx of spellguard. They detain the party at the brig where General Wallis will probably eventually get around to visiting them. To expedite, Haerelben makes a sending to General Wallis directly, explaining that they are trying to get a devastation orb out of the city. That gets prompt results.

General Wallis arrives with arcane professor Mentzer who quickly scribes a circle around Bomb Haerelben. Professor Ether, air elementalist, arrives with a magic box inscribed with protective air runes, the earthquake orb’s natural enemy. Rotund dwarf professor Corundum, still unsteady from the previous evening’s ale tasting, arrives with earth expertise. The learned men of elements confer and offer to transfer the devastation orb from the bag of holding to a deserted or desert plane, minimizing exposure during transport with protective spells. They do agree, however, that as long as there is no earth in the bag of holding then there is no earthquake possible in a bag of holding. For the safety of the city, Haerelben agrees to keep the devastation orb in place and leave the city for the remaining eight hours.

The party convinces General Wallis to allow them to depart through the elf gate, the existence of which is news to her and everyone else. Professor Ether unhelpfully offers to seal this obvious menace behind them.

Back in the temple of Black Earth, cultist-dressed Lefty leads the way past a guarding earth elemental who was obviously hired to replace the golem with the critical impact security vulnerability that allowed access to anyone whose hands could form a triangle. Honestly, the elemental isn’t much better.

Lefty rounds the corner to Marlos Urnrayle’s chamber. There is but a single guard who queries Lefty: Red Stone. She answers entirely incorrectly: Larch! That suits Theren just fine as he puts a well-aimed high damage bolt into the charging guard. Meega chops him dead.

Bromsby uses Iron Oath to barricade side passages, slowing down any cult response. The party dons the muslin masking Theren purchased after reading about the medusa experiments. They enter the chamber looking for Urnrayle, but the muslin makes every statue appear lifelike. Haerelben notices the heads have been cut off the statues. With no sign of Urnrayle, Bromsby casts locate object to find Iron Fang. He gets the weakest possible sense of it, but in the downward direction.

There are several hours remaining until the devastation orb could safely be checked, so the party decides to search through Urnrayle’s escape cave for a way down.

In the Red Larch quarry, Bromsby frees nine nearly juiced survivors of the Black Earth incursion. They relate being dragged into the streets on account of a group of adventurers, memorably including a purple-mohawked quarter orc, snooping around town. The townies can’t even look at Meega, irrationally blaming her for bringing down the wrath of the Black Earth and getting their friends and family juiced, including one Endrith Vallivoe. Tabaxi Lefty doesn’t exactly instill confidence, either. Don’t cats eat people? Of course not, people taste nothing like fish, or so Lefty has heard anyway.

Unnerved, one of the townies makes a run for it. Lefty attempts to grab him but then must resort to severe injury to knock him out, preventing any unwanted attention. Theren picks up the unconscious runner and leads the townies up the steep quarry bank safely away from the town road. He revives the unconscious panicker and advises them to flee.

The party takes cover in the Mellikho Stoneworks office building where Haerelben and Bromsby can observe more cultists occupying the road in town. Four monks protectively surround a box-like object in the road. Two guards oversee nearly fifty more townies cuffed along the edges of the road.

Meega feels a tug on her leg, one of Vallivoe’s kids who remembers Meega and her cheerful bubble pipe from better days. The furtively visaged kid relates that a Black Earth force, maybe three dozen strong, departed east. Only the six cultists down the road remain in town, plus the weird box thing.

Lefty collects the stone fashions of one of the quarry guards, throws some dirt on herself, and wanders up the road to learn what she can. She paces her stride to appear like a dawdling human rather than a swiftly gliding tabaxi. Bromsby transforms to a quick moving underdark rothe and gives Meega a quiet ride behind the buildings down to the cultists. Theren, after a couple of tries, takes a firing position on the roof of Mellikho Stoneworks. Haerelben, who twisted an ankle climbing out of the quarry, hobbles north to maximize the impressiveness of his longbow range.

A guard greets fellow cultist Lefty. Does Malthus need more material? Lefty’s noncommittal, avoiding answers makes the guard suspicious. He challenges her with the passphrase,

Red Stone …?

What?

Red Stone …?

Meep?

The suspicious guard disarms Lefty. She claws at the guard and backs away.

Theren’s well-aimed crossbow bolts flit past Lefty and into the guard. Go to Nessus! The other guard comes to his friend’s aid with a morningstar hit to Lefty. The monks remain disengaged but rearrange stances into a menacing pose undoubtedly named after some deadly viper. Haerelben’s longbow arrow, shot short by a fair bit, tumbles harmlessly by.

Rothe Bromsby charges in from between buildings and slams into a guard. Meega uses the impact to backflip off, fatally landing axe first into a guard. Theren uses a trick to pull extra tension on his crossbow for extra damage, unfortunately absorbed by the trigger mechanism when the bowstring breaks. Undaunted, Theren draws his hand crossbow and slays the other guard.

The object protecting monks rearrange their stance yet again into something even deadlier than a viper, like a mongoose.

Rothe Bromsby circles around and charges through two monks, ramming the second into the ground. Lefty takes on the first and Theren finishes him with an eye bolt. The monks fight back with triple kicks. Haerelben sees the pace of cult killing and hobbles back toward the tussle, yelling out to save a cultist for interrogation. Too little too late as Rothe Bromsby makes another ramming pass. Lefty takes out a monk leaving just two for Meega. Meega chops both dead in a single move. Impressive, if not helpful.

Theren sets about repairing his crossbow. Derothed Bromsby frees the townies. They don’t know much about the orange orb suspended in the lattice box, but they know it’s called a devastation orb. Bromsby takes some vital metrics on the orb: twelve inches in diameter, ten pounds in weight, elemental earth in nature. Haerelben happened to read about these things before: they tend to be wondrously rare items meant to release devastation on an urban center on the order of, say, Thel’Usarin, the Meliamne brothers’ clockwork goldfish vision of destruction by fire. This orb is ready to trigger any moment within eighteen hours. Theren uses the helm of identification and determines this devastation orb is loaded with triple magnitude earthquakes.

What to do?

The party wakes to a new day in Quastarte and heads for the Divine Host Library. Brother Nathaniel, the half-elf head librarian and priest of Oghma, is eagerly helpful yet quick to emphasize the inherent limits of printed information when Haerelben wants him to identify the evil dagger that made warlock Allana pass out at Sacred Stone Library. Nathaniel politely demurs by instead observing the dagger’s odeur evil. And as for the moonbow, he suggests Haerelben would be better served consulting the local Sehanine temple resources.

Theren leans in close. Any books on the Elder Evil Element Eye? Nothing in the card catalog specifically about E4, but Nathaniel accompanies Theren to the monsters section where they find a treatise detailing the iterative exposure of slaves to a controlled medusan source. Theren learns that partial visual obscuration through a perforated surface, such as a muslin blindfold, allows subjects to discern well enough for combat while mitigating the effects of a petrifying gaze.

Librarian’s assistant Trelissa enthusiastically accommodates Lefty. Trelissa has never even heard of a tabaxi before. Lefty has never heard of a librarian’s assistant before, but you don’t see her picking up Trelissa’s follicle sheddings. Lefty and Trelissa fail to locate any references to the Elder Evil Elemental Eye, but fortuitously happen upon an unauthorized biography of Ogremoch. Ogremoch, “the mountain that walks”, is depicted as a fifty foot colossus of rock who claims all the precious minerals and dislikes the mortals who quarry them, especially dwarves. He likes nothing better than manifesting to the material plane through an elemental node to wreck mining endeavors as he did 4500 years ago. Cross referencing that time period, Lefty and Trelissa find additional books describing the previous incursion through elemental nodes by four elemental princes: Ogremoch, Imix, Princess Olhydra, and Yan-C-Bin. History is repeating itself, as Ardak warned.

Bromsby researches his new besty, Iron Oath. He finds a generic coffee table book of magic hammers from which he learns that hammers are ideal for applying percussive force to a small area. He finds a more helpful book that describes the forging of Iron Oath by dwarven smith Werandoc Mroranon 4500 years ago. The details regarding Iron Oath’s infusion of magical properties, specifically its effectiveness against earthen construction and curses, and boon of earthen spells, are conspicuously omitted.

Meega looks around for a book on Iron Fang. She runs into Theren who is looking for books on elemental air weapons analogous to Iron Fang, or elemental weapons equal and opposite to Iron Fang. They don’t find anything directly relating to Iron Fang or anything obviously applicable to the current elemental crisis, but do note some DIY information on making elemental weapons that Meega and Theren could use to start the next elemental crisis. Meega, looking over Bromsby’s shoulder, notes with satisfaction that Iron Oath, despite its potent magic, was forged by a martial smith.

Lefty wanders by perusing “Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Emporium”, but drops that famous reference right on the floor when she notices “Yarnby’s Yarn Almanac”.

As Haerelben’s fox’s cunning spell effects unwind from the researchers, and the librarian’s growling tummy hints broadly at the passing time, Theren catches a tantalizing tidbit of information on an ancient primordial traveler of the elemental chaos who sought to provide order in opposition to the elemental princes of evil. And on his way out he gives just a little glance at an encyclopedia of burning weapons by politician-turned-author Burny Cinders.

Haerelben meets with acquaintance Adorellan Heidon, moon elf chief priestess of the local Sehanine temple. She is predictably impressed by the Daughter of the Night Skies Moonbow and is unhesitatingly pleased to take custody of it on behalf of the order. Tetchy first-born Haerelben erupts at the poncy temple bureaucrat getting grabby with the moonbow while he and his cohorts put their lives on the line every day. What’s Haerelben going to do without the moonbow, sprint in endless circles curing his team by touch? As the goblins say, fuhgeddaboudit! Haerelben and Adorellan momentarily set aside their differences to research the potential use of the longbow-shaped focus as an actual longbow, as Meega previously inferred from the prestrung shape and wear marks on the arrow rest. Adorellan leads Haerelben to a chamber perpetually lit by moonlight and tenderly places the moonbow on an altar. She retrieves a tome with a painting of a female elf drawing a regular arrow upon the moonbow with a visible bowstring of moonlight. Encouraged, Adorellan fetches an arrow and attempts to draw it on the moonbow aimed at Haerelben. No bowstring appears. Haerelben takes his turn, reciprocating the moonbow’s aim at Adorellan. The moonlight bowstring appears in Haerelben’s hand ready to send the arrow. The matter of custody is settled, but Haerelben agrees to hang around to test the moonbow versus a martial longbow for Adorellan’s research. The moonbow tests unfavorably, but that says more about Haerelben’s skill than Sehanine’s influence. Besides, if it causes Adorellan disappointment then Haerelben is satisfied to hide the magical precision he’s feeling from the moonbow [+1d4 to hit].

The party reunites for lunch and some quick reprovisioning of arrows, ball bearings, and potions. They encounter Ardalia at Ardak’s cottage and she equips them with a bandoleer of four “backup” canisters and instructions to throw a canister on the ground when things seem bad. Ardalia does not elaborate on the results of executing said instructions so no one contends when Lefty volunteers to wear that fashionable array of surprises. Eager to return to the thrills of interminable danger, the refreshed party takes Ardak’s elf gate to Lance Rock.

From Lance Rock, it is difficult to not perceive the columns of smoke rising from Red Larch. The commingled sounds of screaming and rocky grinding suggest the forces of Black Earth are already in town. The party hastens for Red Larch while maintaining situational awareness, following along Kheldell path until they can see cultists marching civilians toward Mellikho’s quarry, source of the grinding and the screaming. The party skirts the town and sneaks up a hill overlooking the quarry.

The scene in the quarry is unsettling to behold. Eight townies are shackled by stone cuffs. An indeterminate number of victims have already been “juiced” by a large earth elemental, their pulpy blood pooling in the quarry. Four guards bring one of the prisoners up to a priest, seemingly for an interrogation or some other process that will inevitably end in juicing.

Lefty snaps into action, sending magic missiles to the priest and the pair of guards hauling up the next victim to interrupt the proceedings as the cultists turn their attention to the hilltop source. Bromsby sneaks around to study whether the prisoners might be liberated during the distraction, but the guards take shelter against the quarry wall using the prisoners as shields. Haerelben blesses the bow wielders hoping to quickly take out the priest. The priest magically shields himself making that a difficult proposition, but not before he catches a couple of Theren’s crossbow bolts in his face. The earth elemental drops into the rocky floor of the quarry, portending some melee action for Meega as she plants arrows into the priest with her shortbow.

Lefty’s magic missiles are useless against the priest’s shield, so she dashes to keep the guards from overwhelming Bromsby while he draws them away from the prisoners with rays of frost. The priest notices Bromsby’s approach and shatters him, drawing an offsetting bolster from Haerelben.

The earth elemental pops up in front of Meega and gets ironically erupted by earth at Bromsby’s command through Iron Oath. Theren puts a killing crossbow bolt into the priest and calls the elemental as his new mark. Meega’s axe knocks the elemental onto its backside and smacks it again. The elemental recovers its composure by dropping into the rock and popping up out of her reach behind her with a couple of rocky punches to her back. Meega embarasses the elemental by tripping him a second time with a follow up overhead smash. The elemental stands and turns his punching attention to Theren who has closed to melee range, trading the heavy crossbow for a hand crossbow and shortsword combo and promising the elemental some brought pain. Theren’s shortsword catches in the elemental as Meega trips it for a humiliating three times in a row. The elemental stands to continue punishing Theren for Meega’s dominance. Theren is getting a little wobbly despite Haerelben’s efforts, but draws his backup shortsword and strikes the elemental into rubble.

Bromsby and Lefty have troubles of their own as the four guards abandon the quarry to flank them with spiked clubs. Bromsby erupts earth under them once they clear the prisoners. Nimble Lefty focuses her ki and dishes out the pain while deftly avoiding most of the swings at her. She scratches out the first guard. Bromsby lashes out with thorn whip. Meega scrambles across the erupted earth and viciously finishes the second guard who’s already limping from erupted earth. One guard is beating on Lefty, but she has the clarity to recognize the other guard is running to get help so she lights him up with magic missiles. Haerelben takes Lefty’s cue, moonbowing an arrow into the fleeing guard. Not bad, but Theren does his usual impossible bucket of damage with a couple of spot-on crossbow bolts as the guard reaches the far side of the quarry. Meega nods approvingly before turning and casually dropping the fleeing guard with her borrowed shortbow at the limit of its effective range. Whateva.

While the archers mutually congratulate each other, the last guard continues to enthusiastically pound the life from Lefty with a spike club. Fine, she’ll do it herself. She makes a critical claw strike and ends the guard.

The party’s not in great shape, but the scourge of Red Larch continues in the distance and there’s no time for rest.

Meega searches Marlos Urnrayle’s desk and finds paper, a bottle of ink, and a journal in script unknown to her. Lefty recognizes the script as terran. Theren can make out some of the proper nouns: Ogremoch, Black Geode, Fane of the Eye. Lefty finds a drawing, yet somehow more than a drawing, of an eye in the back of the journal. Mindful of the elder elemental evil eye encountered previously by some of the party, Theren uses a crossbow bolt to fashion a hole through the journal through which he passes a lock to keep the journal closed.

Haerelben and Meega select a nobleman statue that is not wearing earth cult garb. Bromsby taps it back to life with Iron Oath. The ungrateful nobleman yells for help when he learns the party is not with the earth cult. Better stone than all alone, as he would always say if he weren’t a statue. A rush of cultists can be heard approaching from the chasm.

Lefty heads for the temple entrance. She observes another mob of earth cultists approaching in the hallway and signals back to the party with a thumb down. She hucks a kobold glue pot toward the cultists and takes off in the opposite direction toward the entrance. The lead cultist is stuck and blocking the doorway. Haerelben leads Wulgreda and Gervor out. Meega is next and tosses a thunderstone knocking the cultists back down the hall.

While Lefty leads the escape back through the column golem room, Haerelben is amazed to notice an elf gate fortuitously embedded in the side of the one of the columns. While the cultists close in, everyone puts a hand on the elf gate and Haerelben quickly recites three trivia answers in the fields of history, religion, and arcana to unlock it.

The party pops through finding themselves in a round dungeon. What it lacks in cultists chasing them it makes up for in stacked boxes. Lefty lights a torch. The boxes contain manufactured durable goods, like paper and unassembled furniture legs. Meega finds a staircase leading up at the center of the room and the party ascends.

On the next level, the boxes are tidier. One contains new glass flasks. As they continue to ascend, the boxes are more systematically organized and indexed to facilitate frequent access. Progress is halted when Meega comes to a locked door. Haerelben knocks but there is no prompt answer. Haerelben and Meega take a short rest with Wulgreda and Gervor while Lefty helps herself to a lightweight silvered greatclub and Theren stocks up on crossbow ammunition. It occurs to the party that the boxes are marked with the Quarstarte Spellguard seal.

Theren picks the lock allowing the party to continue up. They pass through ten or twelve levels in total and eventually emerge on the ground level behind counters where clerks distribute supplies.

Theren gets his wallet out to pay for the commandeered items. Quartermaster Schmeck, nemesis of Theren’s deceased brother Rollen, sees the intruders emerge from his storeroom and blows his thief whistle. Theren tries to explain their association with Ardak, like Schmeck even cares. General Abatha Wallis, commander of the spellguard, arrives on the scene.

General Wallis wants references and also all the weapons. Theren provides spellguard Rollen as a reference, but of course Rollen is perpetually unavailable for any interviews. Lefty has no friends here and disavows any knowledge of or culpability for Quastarte law. Is it considered wrong to steal things here? Meega has her father, local master smith legend Wayvoran-Chero, to identify her and that certainly has some truck with the spellguard. Haerelben’s sponsor at Quastarte, Regent Stonespeaker of the Divine Host, can vouch for him, but he is concerned about surrendering Sehanine’s Moonbow, emphasizing the value of the moonbow to General Wallis while de-emphasizing its potential as a weapon. General Wallis disagrees to disagree.  All weapons, real and potential, are surrendered and sealed in boxes.

The meeting adjourns to an adjacent building where the party is held until their story is confirmed. General Wallis releases the party to the custody of Regent Ardalia of the Technology Host who also happens to be Ardak’s daughter.

Ardak’s manor house is offered to them for accommodation. Meega visits her parents. Theren arranges Sword Coast first class postage. Bromsby, in an unguarded moment, explains that he can transform into an orange crystalline turtle with certain benefits anytime he likes. Ardalia catches them up on the local news regarding the attack on the Opeth. They all worriedly agree that no one must worry about Ardak; he’ll find his way just like he always has.

When the party awakens in the morning, they feel stronger, faster, tougher, smarter, wiser, and prettier.

Just when violence with the burrow shark and his four henchmen seems inevitable, the deception that the disheveled party of “earth cultists” is escorting recaptured prisoners of Helldorm back to his abode of torture gains a little traction. Only when Theren, mostly covered in mostly not his own blood, can’t quickly answer the shark burrow’s gruff query of his name does the situation degrade. Theren, not displaying stoicism sufficiently for an earth cultist, takes some whip lashing while the guards hold him down. This provides some covering distraction for Haerelben and Meega, known to the burrow shark as Lentz with a head cold, to shove Gervor and Wulgreda into the torture chamber. Lefty follows, carrying catatonic “prisoner” Bromsby whom she will throw into the chasm herself, thanks. The mortal remains of Helldorm and the other vanquished cultists have fortunately not been discovered. Theren finally recalls his own name, Gustav, and the burrow shark’s henchmen release him.

As soon as the burrow shark’s dressed-right-dress detachment of guards turns the corner, the party silently slips away from the torture chamber toward the kitchen. Meega piles rubble against the back door so that both doors are barricaded. Theren directs the standard watch order so the party can rally to fight Marlos Urnrayle. Bromsby cannot be revived.

On watch, Theren hears someone trying to open the door. Theren wakes charismatic Lefty to help with impersonation of the deceased ettin. She gives her best sleepy performance, Broog’s room! We’re busy! Whispered voices seem to buy the bluff, but then Theren doubles down with an unconvincing supporting role as Nurg and it seems the situation will deteriorate. Unnerved Theren discusses the matter with catatonic Bromsby until his shift ends. Heavy knocking breaks the peace of the final watch. Haerelben manages to buy another hour or two with a passable Broog and Nurg encore while the others wake up.

Theren gets the idea to rest the silver hammer, Iron Oath, on Bromsby’s catatonic dome. Bromsby, or something like Bromsby, switches on and relates how he went for a perilous unannounced walkabout in the middle of the previous night, because that’s what he does. Bromsby found himself captured in Urnrayle’s private chambers and doesn’t recall anything after that. All his magical items got pinched and he’s definitely not himself. He just doesn’t feel good. Grammarian Theren presses Bromsby for this unexpected change in alignment. Pseudo Bromsby loses consciousness whenever Iron Oath loses contact, so he wields Iron Oath despite his druidic misgivings regarding its metallic allergen content. Haerelben keeps to himself the suspicion that Bromsby is provisionally undead.

Time is up and guards are at the doors demanding entrance. Bromsby slams Iron Oath into a crumbling part of the kitchen wall to make a nice big egress. Haerelben and Theren perform a final Nurg and Broog skit to assure the guards the ettin is doing all he can to open the door but is encountering unreasonable difficulty getting to the door. Once everyone is safely out, Bromsby backfills with a magnificent eruption of earth, aided by the earthy Iron Oath.

Cult disguised Lentz-Meega and Gustav-Theren lead the way toward Urnrayle’s chambers. Gustav-Theren crosses a hallway crammed with a stack of cultists ready to breach into the kitchen. He adopts a proactive one-of-us infiltration tactic: Hey guys what’s going on? The cultists swarm the hallway ready to attack Theren, but their disciplined military formation is their undoing as Bromsby fills their well-ordered hallway with erupting earth.

The party hastens to Urnrayle’s north chambers. Shouts from the chasm to the east suggest the alerted cultists are attempting a flanking maneuver. Bromsby fills side hallways along the way with earth to buy them time. Meega rolls up on the last corner and peeks around. Two guards flank the door to Urnrayle’s chambers. Stone masked Lentz-Meega pokes her head around to yell a warning to the guards: The air cultists, I mean, airbags, I mean, windbags are in the dorm! Help us cut them off on the other side! Wentz stays on guard while Prentz takes off. Or the other way around. Who can tell in these masks? Lentz, your voice sounds funny.

Theren’s chaotic confidence is shaken after so many cultic confrontations. Haerelben councils him with some Sehaninic wisdom: Ewe be ewe. Theren grasps his heavy crossbow and slides around the corner. Crossbow bolts and a hearty Yan-C-Bin! pierce the guard. Lefty’s darts join in. Panicked Prentz summons Wentz to return, but an eruption of earth makes that considerably more difficult. Prentz quits his post and retreats into the chamber, leaving the door open behind him. The party follows.

Statues are scattered around the room, but it’s a prominently centered crystalline orange turtle in a rearing two legged pose that seems to capture Bromsby’s interest. Prentz yells a warning to his master that the air cultists have infiltrated. Haerelben yells a warning to Prentz’s master that Prentz is an air cultist trying to trick him. It’s all fun and games until Haerelben finds himself accidentally face-to-face with medusa Marlos Urnrayle lurking unseen in a corner of rock. Haerelben casts banishment. Urnrayle resists. Urnrayle gazes petrification at Haerelben. Haerelben resists. They puzzle at each other while Urnrayle’s hairsnakes bite Haerelben’s unsnaked forehead.

Bromsby and Lefty team up on Prentz with rays of frost and darts and claws. Meega closes her eyes and smashes her axe into Urnrayle, but the axe flies out of her hands to the far side of the room. Theren dances by, sending a couple of heavy crossbow bolts and enticing a missed reaction out of Urnrayle’s Ironfang. Haerelben fails at many attempts to blind Urnrayle. A shadow demon appears behind Meega. Urnrayle’s Ironfang and hairsnakes strike at Meega. Urnrayle backs into the rock wall and reemerges safely away Meega.

Meega pulls her handaxes from her belt and chops at the incorporeal demon as she runs for her battleaxe. Theren gets another bolt into Urnrayle, but pops the bowstring and catches Urnrayle’s gaze. Restrained Theren begins to collapse from an Ironfang attack and petrifies slowly bending forward in a classic unpowered golem pose. He goes on a locked-in journey of the mind, passing the timelessness by shredding mad riffs on his mind lute.

Bromsby slays Prentz with a frosty ray and uses Iron Oath to stun the shadow demon. He touches the crystalline tortoise lightly with Iron Oath and they reunite into Bromsby version 1.0, just in time for Bromsby to catch Urnrayle’s gaze and begin petrifying. Lefty draws her new wand of magic missiles and shares them with the shadow demon three at a time until the demon dissipates.

Urnrayle pursues Meega. Meega, weary of hiding behind closed eyelids, goes after Urnrayle in earnest. She trips him with her warrior superiority. Haerelben, unlucky at spellcasting, tries a different tactic of jamming his mirrored shield in Urnrayle’s face. Can Urnrayle gaze a petrification so stony that even Urnrayle can’t resist it? No. No, he can’t. Urnrayle slams Ironfang into the shattering ground again knocking the turtle right out of Bromsby.

Urnrayle flees the scene into a back room. Meega pursues and is completely petrified when she catches his gaze. Bromsby shakes off petrification and returtles himself with Iron Oath. Lefty closes her eyes and goes scratching for Urnrayle. Urnrayle attacks Lefty with everything he’s got and Lefty crumples. Urnrayle escapes through a crack in the rocky wall.

Bromsby discovers he can free Theren and Meega from their rocky embraces with a slight touch of Iron Oath. Haerelben uses the moonbow to get the unconscious lightly cured of their worst wounds. Bromsby knocks out the wall where Urnrayle slipped through, but peering Meega can’t see him any more.

Defeated for the day, the adventurers toss Urnrayle’s quarters. Theren finds all of Bromsby’s possessions in a chest along with 80 gp, four gemstones [40 gp each] and a scroll of greater restoration.

Haerelben and Meega pick robes and stone masks off the dead torture cultists. Theren loots their 6 silver paychecks and a pig-and-taters bar. Meega noisily pushes table-mounted Helldorm toward the prisoner cages within range of Haerelben’s zone of truth. Lefty breaks into a treasure chest and digs out some stone armor, studded armor, a longsword, six azurites, 230 silver, and a wand of magic missile.

Cage the first contains Black Earth fighter Orna. She’s even madder now than when she struck a Black Earth priest. Truthfully, she means no particular harm to the adventuring interlopers and will even show them to Marlos Urnrayle’s general location, but she isn’t fool enough to mess with a medusa. Theren learns from her that Bromsby was brought in by Wally and Bulna, personal guards of Urnrayle, and that Ironfang is always with Urnrayle. Meega opens Orna’s cage with a key found on Helldorm. Orna begins her revenge-fueled rampage by smashing Helldorm’s unconscious head off with an improvised furniture weapon.

Cage the second contains half-elf nobleman Gervor. He was part of the Mirabar delegation, the same as Bruldenthar, transporting  through Sumber Hills en route to Summit Hall until they were ambushed by cultists. Gervor identifies two other delegates from Meega’s description of the shallow graves in the Sumber Hills:

Throndour, artisan dwarf
Gretchen, Mirabar soldier

Gervor completes the roster of unaccounted-for delegates [found in the Red Larch quarry?]:

Teresiel, moon elf of Silverymoon
Rhundorth, shield dwarf of Mirabar
Deseyna, human noble

Gervor mentions they were also transporting a fallen knight of Samular. His name was not Caradoon. Meega releases Gervor and he retrieves his studded armor and longsword.

Cage the third contains Wulgreda, dwarven prospector. She has no idea why she was taken by cultists and is, as far as she knows, unremarkable in every way. Meega releases Wulgreda.

Cage the fourth contains catatonic svirfneblin Bromsby. Bromsby’s eyes are open but he’s entirely unresponsive. He has no visible injuries. Theren truthfully admits to Meega he actually lost track of Bromsby ever since their rest in the dungeon kitchen. Yeah duh is her orcish expression of agreement. If Bromsby was carrying the Opeth crystal, Theren can’t find it on him now. Theren becomes concerned that Bromsby might be an enthralled observer for Urnrayle so once the group expositionally details their plan to overwhelm Urnrayle, Meega closes Bromsby’s eyes. Lefty positions Bromsby’s thumbs in his ears while Theren encases his head senses in improvised bandages. Lefty hoists Bromsby.

Theren acquires Helldorm’s blood and makes some Howling Hatred Rulez graffiti on the walls. He breaks the jaws of the deceased rendering them incapable of speaking from death. Orna straps into her stone plate armor, hefts a heavy table leg, and leads the party out through the halls of Black Earth.

Orna stops at a closed door in the hallway where, she claims, they need to aggressively and quickly retrieve a key with overwhelming force. This peculiar phrasing makes more sense when they burst into the barracks inhabited by a Black Earth priest, presumably the object of Orna’s prior assault, and four guards not entirely prepared for combat. Orna hurls herself and some blue language at the priest.

The room’s occupants scramble to their feet from chairs and beds. Meega trips the priest and is joined by Lefty who deposits Bromsby inside the door. Theren’s crossbow slays the priest to Orna’s great personal disappointment. The guards take down vulnerable Gervor who fights with a lot of heart and a broken longsword. Meega and Lefty take down two unarmored guards. Theren takes down another guard leaving only one for everyone to surround. Orna delivers the killing blow, but she really wanted her priest nemesis. To alleviate her disappointment, Haerelben claims that the priest just moved a little and may not be completely dead. Orna bashes the priest’s skull in.

Theren paints the walls with Yan-C-Bin 4 Evah in the priest’s blood. Orna calls Theren an idiot for increasing the rivalry between cults, but Theren agrees to disagree. With revenge served and Theren provoking her, Orna makes for the exit. Theren chases after her and convinces her that revenge isn’t fully served until she directs them to Urnrayle. She directs Theren to a nearby door.

The bodies are arranged into blood soaked beds. Lefty collects Bromsby. Haerelben pleads for a chance to rest and hopefully restore Bromsby before challenging medusa Urnrayle. They decide to return to the safe kitchen where ettins and ogres roam freely.

As the weary party retraces their path back to the kitchen, they run into a barrow shark and four cultists who direct the prisoner escort “cultists” to fall in and prepare for battle with some infiltrating air cultists. Haerelben offers to meet up with them after the prisoners have been fed to the ettin, but the barrow shark is suspicious and begins asking too many questions.

Theren implements his Standard Watch Order Without a Cool Acronym. Between watch rotations two and three, Theren notices Bromsby is missing. Theren conceals this discovery from Meega.

The night passes otherwise uneventfully until there is an enthusiastic knock on the kitchen door the next morning. Something giant-speaking is looking for dessert from Broog and Nurg. Haerelben, by channeling divinity, becomes proficient speaking with the giant ogres outside the door. No dessert in here! It is impossible for Haerelben to perform his imitation of Nurg any worse. Ogres Jone and Twochi break in.

A quick improvised battle ensues. Lefty claws down Twochi. Meega’s giant slayer trips giant Jone and has him dead to rights, but Lefty swoops in for the kill. Theren slices into the ogres to ensure Bromsby isn’t digesting away in there. Lefty finds larvae cookies and three silver among the ogres’ belongings.

The party moves out the kitchen’s other door into a large chamber with square pillars. Haerelben hears snoozing sounds. Lefty sees a couple of bulettes that are chained to the pillars. The party attempts to sneak past but awakens the land sharks.

One bulette breaks its chain charging for Lefty. Meega tries to head it off, but it puts a big bite on Lefty before leaping over the party to get at Haerelben, violently pushing him back down the corridor. While Meega engages the other bulette threatening to break free any moment, the rest of the party surrounds the free bulette and Lefty, expending her monkish reserves, slays it. Meega trips and slays the remaining bulette.

A passage leaving the far southeast corner of the chamber marks a change in stonework. Lefty recognizes the passage as a political boundary that would take them to the water cult section of Besil. Good to know. The party explores back to the north.

The chamber is divided by the rift that cuts through this section of Besil. Another bulette on the other side of the 100 foot drop strains at its chain to get to the sounds of fighting. Theren reckons he can safely take out the beast at range, but breaks a bowstring much like the bulette breaks its chain. It leaps the chasm into the midst of the party and chews Theren unconscious.

Sehanine, through Haerelben, brings Theren back and the party engages the rampaging bulette. Lefty brings it down.

The chasm can be crossed in two obvious places. On the right, a couple of ledges shorten the leap to a few 5’ jumps, but the risk of falling 100’ into the chasm is too great for Haerelben to allow after the fierce bulette battles. On the left, a narrow landbridge might collapse but at least requires less luck to negotiate. While debating whether the lightest of them or the heaviest should stress the landbridge first, Theren accidentally knocks rubble into the chasm. A swarm of irritated bats encircles the landbridge so the party backs off to allow the bats time to settle down.

The party finds itself back in the room with a rectangular water basin. They check out some side areas previously skipped. Lefty puts her ear to a closed door and hears murmuring, but is unfortunately unable to make out any of the discussion. She silently cracks open the door and spies four caged people along the wall. Here is a situation most of the party cannot abide, and even neutral Meega is becoming increasingly introspective about justice and morality. In fact, it is Meega who indignantly bursts into the room like a boss.

Three cultists and an earth armored cultist-turned-elemental guy, indulgently referring to himself as Helldorm, surround a torture table. They disregard Meega’s bossness. Helldorm summons Maximilian’s earthen grasp, but it fails to grasp quick-moving Meega. Meega’s axe smashes into Helldorm and he finds himself on his back watching her axe takes its second bite. Lefty comes over the table with outstretched claws, lacerating cultists Six and Four as she slides between them. Not to be outdone, Theren jams a short sword into Four while firing a crossbow bolt into Six, killing him. Remaining cultists One and Four beat on Theren with rods. Helldorm regains his feet and swings at Meega with a rod. The cultists who brought rods to a crossbow and claw fight quickly die to crossbow and claw. Surrounded Helldorm shatters his assailants, but is immediately knocked out by Theren’s short sword.

Knuckle-cracking Theren asks Meega to set Helldorm into the torture table rig. The caged people demand release. Two are commoners. One is an earth cultist who offers to help Theren with whatever is about to befall Helldorm. The fourth prisoner, a svirfneblin, moans semiconsciously. He looks a lot like Bromsby.