PROLOGUE
Priority 2, code Yellow
“JJ, Nanny, Beard, Stiches, my office, stat!” calls Rooster.
You get up and meander over to the mission runner’s room and he closes the door.
“The four of you have been called in, for a sensitive and disturbing mission… Strings has gone AWOL.”
You all look at each other a little surprised and maybe a tinge hurt. Strings has been your partner on so many contracts, what is he up to?
“Now you’re mercs, we get that you don’t owe us much, but you do need to inform us when you are breaking your contract AND you can not take company goods. Strings left without any notice and he took with him an old mission log and a ring recently acquired by Shuffle and his crew.”
“Anything special about the ring?”
“We had not had time to investigate it, but it is a signet ring of some sort. We were unable to identify it, but know that it is magic.”
This mission is going to require a lot of thinking on your feet, and I highly recommend you don’t try to solve all problems with your fists.
To add another twist to this mission, our intel has placed Strings at Lord Oren’s Sky House, an interplanar “Inn”. Oren is Lord of the Green Fey, a powerful creature indeed. It is unlikely Oren is at the Sky House, but his emissary Hob knobknin runs it.
We have no idea why Strings would go there, except that it really is a good place to escape or hide.
How do we get there?
“Dragon”
“What’s a DRAGON?”
“Oh oh oh… let me guess,” shouts Beard, “the Dimensional Reconissaince All-purpose Gondola of Magic!”
“Thats DRAGOM, can’t you spell? and no that’s clearly wrong. You’re taking a Dragon: Large, scaly, big wings, breathes something nasty and able to swallow you whole without a second thought.”
“What?”
“Just follow the instructions in the envelope, you’ll be fine.”
“Also, this is VERY important… be careful about agreeing to anything on your trip. You are going to be under the dominion of Lord Oren, a Fey Noble… any bargain you make is BINDING. Even the smallest bargain, can get you trapped for life, or beholden to a fey creature, beware.”
“Find strings, get the book, and get home.”
“Oh, and your helm is not going to work in the astral sea, so you’re going to have to hitch a ride home, presumably on the same dragon… so be nice to him.”
The outside of the envelope has directions to a clearing about an hour outside of town. When you open the envelope, there are three printed words: “Jaggerbad, Jaggerbad, Jaggerbad”.
LOGUE
Nanny, Beard, and JJ are lounging around the warren playing cards when Rooster interrupts from the mission runner’s ready room. It’s a priority two, code yellow mission to find AWOL Strings and retrieve some R&S property, a ruby red signet ring with undisclosed magical properties and a mission log.
Intel reports Strings has been observed at the skyhouse of Oren, Lord of Green Fey. Oren’s emissary is one William Finasort
Strings has been a fine coworker and friend, but business is business. Rooster hands Nanny a sealed envelope to be opened at a nearby field. She passes the envelope off to Beard, the brains of the operation.
The party makes the short walk to the designated field and Beard opens the envelope. He reads the three words written on the back of the enclosed paper: Jaggerbad, Jaggerbad, Jaggerbad.
It’s exactly 6:02 and Jaggerbad knows where and whom his patrons are as he touches down in the field. He is a colossally enormous iron dragon bearing an entire inn, the skyhouse, lashed to his back.
Nanny, Beard, and JJ board the skyhouse in baskets lowered by wooden sailors. As they ascend they observe wonky interplanar distortions.
William Finasort, their humble host for the journey, greets the party at the entrance to the inn. They are shown to a table in an elegant dining room where a skeletal drum and flute duo perform. Travellers of every description abound. Waitstaff deliver all-inclusive libations and stew. The only luxury missing is any obvious sign of Strings.
Beard selects a lone angel at a nearby table to begin a rapport. The angel is sad and has a sad story to relate, but Beard has the cure for sadness and, plus, he likes pineapple. The angel appears unmoved by these assertions.
Nanny scopes around an empty private room and sees a rainbow of celestial planets skewing by out a porthole. Jaggerbad’s skyhouse lands to disembark a salamander passenger onto a fiery world.
JJ requests a deck of cards as a lure for any of the inn’s shadier sorts who might plausibly have dealings with a rogue R&S operative. Beard careens away from the angel to help JJ shuffle the cards. JJ trades him places to apologize to the angel for Beard’s shenanigans as a way of introduction.
The angel, Nayle, has abandoned his god and finds himself out of work now. He’s a perpetual patron of the inn while he sorts things out. He shares a rumor that William, a capricious fellow in this angel’s opinion, has acquired the skyhouse from Oren.
Beard next helps himself to the company of a pair of apparent mercenaries conspiring at a nearby table. They recognize his R&S greycoat but deny his accusation that they work for Darkwater. One mercenary gets irritated and leaves the table. The other mercenary claims to be Strings in disguise.
Strings whispers emphatically that Beard must not be here, that it isn’t safe. Beard is confident this imposter is not Strings and remains unconvinced even when Strings slaps him and yanks his beard. The other mercenary returns and departs upstairs with Strings.
A wizardly fellow simultaneously descends from stairs on the opposite side of the room and approaches Beard, who is not easily fooled. “Strings?” This puzzles the wizard who doesn’t believe himself to be this Strings fellow. He relates a rumor that Jaggerbad might be anticipating retirement soon if he could ever escape his fey contract.
Beard excuses himself to discretely follow the mercenary claiming to be Strings upstairs but William the host intercepts him. William shows Beard to his room on the second level and hands over a glass key.
Nanny introduces herself to the wizard, Gamble, and they chit chat over some stew while JJ finishes his drink with the sad angel.
Nanny and Beard meet up and stroll around the periphery of the dining room to look for any missed opportunities. They skip chatting with the blue haired gnome because of her leashed beholder in one of the private rooms. The orc guarding the bride-to-be princess Ogmarhhhhhhgggggg in another private room is not terribly chatty but suggests an audience with the princess might be gained if a suitable wedding gift can be improvised.
A foursome of gnolls board the skyhouse causing JJ to speculate upon a Darkwater connection, but Nanny calls him out for being gnoll-racist. They stroll close to the gnolls to entice a confrontation, if such is brewing, but the gnolls are preoccupied and offer only a muttered insult. Runt.
Nanny and JJ introduce themselves at the table of a kenku, bullywug, and an especially golden dwarf who introduce themselves as Kendra, Todd, and Fulmer, respectively. Two of them are newlyweds and one of them suffers from a slowly diminishing curse of metallic transformation.
A request from Nanny for a tour of the kitchen is denied but her compliments to the chef will be passed along.
Nanny and JJ meet Baab, a tree-like fellow drinking water through his fingers.
Nanny and JJ, intercepted by omnipresent William, adjourn upstairs to see what Beard has learned and / or ruined.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Beard goes door to door looking for the mercenary claiming to be Strings. What this method lacks in subtlety it makes up for in efficiency. Most of the folks he disturbs want to know if this is their stop. They are generally reluctant, if not belligerent, toward Beard’s prying questions. Many rooms are empty or just too sensible to answer the incessant knocking.
Beard works his way through the rooms until an enthusiastically manic old man, introducing himself as Simon, answers his summons. Simon caught the first available dragon skyhouse to anywhere. Beard has a badger in his beard. Simon has a cat in his hat. Simon promises tea without a teapot. Beard remembers he’s looking for Strings. Simon offers Beard family biscuits. Beard excuses himself to knock on the next door. Simon encourages Beard and offers to shrink the door off its hinges. The reflection therapy is too much for Beard.
Beard continues combing through aggravated passengers until he finally locates the mercenary claiming to be Strings. Strings reminds Beard of the need for subtlety (shut up, you idiot!) and focuses Beard’s attention (slaps him repeatedly), especially when Beard gets grabby for the signet ring. When Beard does not comply with Strings’ expectations for decorum, Strings silences and mithril bands Beard and abandons him for the dining room.
Nanny and JJ, unaware that Beard has found Strings, use Nanny’s helm of telepathy from their room to drop eaves on the passengers below. Almost immediately someone is aware of her intrusion and tries to chat with Nanny. Nanny removes the helm. They dress with fancy duds from the magically anticipatory dresser drawers and return to the dining room.
Beard slips his binding by transforming to Fly Beard. He finds Strings downstairs in a private room and waits for the other mercenary to leave. He reverts back into plain old Beard sitting across the table from completely exasperated Strings. Strings tries unsuccessfully to sleep Beard out.
Nanny uses her helm to catch snippets from the meeting of the four gnolls and the non-Strings mercenary. Some plot is afoot to cause a major distraction and abduct a halfling. Strings, as the mercenary, brushes past the table and suggests surreptitiously that the R&S team meet him up in their room.
The meeting finally affords JJ the long awaited opportunity to ask, “Wot’s it all about, Strings?” Strings has hired some unscrupulous sorts to help him liberate his sister, a waitress in the skyhouse, from her fey obligations to William Finasort by eliminating, with extreme prejudice, the party of the second part. It’s way more than the R&S gang would like to endeavor, but Strings is a good friend and the mission objectives could just as well be accomplished by helping him as by cutting off his finger.
All agree to help Strings rescue his sister in exchange for the mission items, the log and ring. The log is surrendered immediately but the ring is needed for the job.
Strings emphasizes repeatedly that Jaggerbad, once released from his own fey bargain with William, would likely eat everyone he could and toss the rest into the astral sea. If there is any hope for survival then Jaggerbad’s cooperation must be secured first. Beard is a natural for the task as he can easily infiltrate William’s talking balcony in the front of the inn and parlay with Jaggerbad.
With only 45 minutes remaining, JJ rehearses with Beard the two vital dagger points to arrange with Jaggerbad:
1) Jaggerbad is released from his bargain with William
2) Jaggerbad delivers the passengers to their respective destinations, uneaten
It seems like Beard has the plan locked in, but then he begins improvising at the password-protected kitchen door. William notices the anomalous behavior and sleeps Beard out.
Sleepy Beard is locked in his room by ship’s crew and it takes Nanny to pick open the lock. She feeds him a salvage bar and rehearses the plan with him yet again. Once he agrees to the plan she unties him and off he goes.
Strings has rejoined his caper in progress, keeping the plan on track with his co-mercenary and their hired gnolls. Nanny dons her helm of telepathy to monitor Beard’s progress with Jaggerbad. JJ ties up William’s concentration with a thousand questions. Beard easily infiltrates the kitchen and areas beyond and eventually makes his way to the balcony, where he sees the gnolls spider-walking around the outside of the inn ready to cut some, hopefully not all, of the inn’s tethers.
Beard negotiates with Jaggerbad: his release from William for safe delivery of the passengers. Jaggerbad wisely doubts Beard’s resources, abilities, and mental stability. He stipulates a time limit on the deal, the expiration of which will find Beard fatally covered in gravy and eaten by Jaggerbad. But ultimately they agree: liberation for delivery.
The gnolls fulfill their distraction contract by severing several tethers. The inn pitches to the left and then to the right, violently throwing its occupants around. Thus committed, Strings aims the ruby red signet at William and a destroyer materializes. JJ climbs Baab for a better view and Nanny cautiously waits to see who will fight whom.
William commands all passengers back to their rooms, but practically no one moves at all. William disguises himself as a wooden sailor and no one knows which he is, least of all the destroyer whose single purpose is to destroy William. The destroyer opens up at whatever convenient wooden sailors present themselves and the battle begins.
Beard re-enters the kitchen from the balcony and sets about rescuing the frightened, fey-bound staff by fireballing the free-swinging kitchen doors. Unaccustomed to Beard’s unorthodox methods, the kitchen staff lock themselves into a storeroom. Beard thunderwaves the storeroom doors, but it takes a couple of tries to shatter the doors, spraying splinters into the terrified people. To calm them, he declares their bargains will be over soon and they will be delivered from their deals.
In the dining room, the destroyer lances wooden sailors one by one with his energy beams. Nanny ducks around, sneaking attacks in where possible. JJ grabs the wooden arm of one of Nanny’s victims, clubbing and kicking his way over to a black tentacle pinning Strings to the deck.
The destroyer, while effective at destroying, has two major drawbacks. The first, it can no longer discriminate its original target, William. The second, it possesses an utter lack of empathy for collateral damage, such as when JJ stands in the path of its destructive beam aimed at nearby wooden sailors. JJ throws a disengaging kick and flees, gravely wounded by the destroyer, far from any nearby wooden sailors to drink an R&S brand potion of cure wounds.
Beard joins the tussle and burning hands a tidy row of wooden sailors, a very effective attack that sets them afire. Encouraged by this success, Beard encores by moonbeaming all around Strings’ pinned head to knock off the black tentacle. Unfortunately, the tentacle is a magic projection from William and the beam serves only to bake Strings’ head. Twice. Contrite Beard cancels the moonbeam and dispels the tentacle. A healing word puts Strings right again.
William exploits the problems with the destroyer by disguising JJ as William while William remains disguised at Wooden Sailor Number Five. The destroyer knocks JJ out completely but quite fortunately chooses Wooden Sailor Number Five, the real William, as its next target and he is finally vanquished.
The remaining wooden sailors go inert, lacking a master. Beard asserts loudly that he is their new master now, but a basso voice clears itself and responds, “I don’t think so…” Beard quickly reverses himself, not wishing to be Jaggerbad’s smothered delicacy.
Strings is reunited with his sister and surrenders the ring. Jaggerbad delivers all the passengers to their destinations and returns the R&S team to the sword coast. JJ inquires as to the final disposition of the skyhouse and Jaggerbad dumps it off in the field for him.
And that’s the story of the founding of Jaggerbad Resort, an R&S subsidiary, LLC.